Now I’m not saying he actually means it, I know it’s a comedy show, but i noticed Scott drops the “I don’t even want to be having these conversations now” line a lot more frequently near the end of the tour than he did at the beginning! @cbbworld.bsky.social

I wanna say I’ll boycott Conan’s podcast until he has @jimmypardo.com or @scottaukerman.bsky.social on but that means if he does it I’ll have to listen to his podcast

We have to stop anthropomorphizing billionaires.

I mostly only experience advertisements when listening to Scott Aukerman cue up YouTube videos behind the paywall. I pay like $6 a month for Scott to play me ads he’s not even paid to run. Ironically an amazingly effective ad for YouTube premium! @cbbworld.bsky.social @scottaukerman.bsky.social

Gen Z shouldn’t be allowed to make 9/11 jokes. The cutoff should if they didn’t wheel a television into your classroom to make you watch the events, then it’s not funny when you do it.

When I first heard the name George Theragun I immediately guessed what the concept for the character was except for I assumed it was gonna be George Thorogood. @cbbworld.bsky.social

Fuck Pink.

Tears are a myth, it’s actually just squirt.

Watching old SNL is a roller coaster consisting of “omg I forgot about this, one of the funniest moments in television history” followed almost immediately by Fred Armisen as Barack Obama. #snl #fredarmisen #barackobama #neverforget

I’m listening to ‘Who Me?’ over again from the beginning and so far by episode 6 my favorite question I’ve heard the Batmin ask is “WHEN IS SHE?!” Truly incredible stuff. @cbbworld.bsky.social @bibbymoynihan.bsky.social

I have this weird friend named Laurel who is just constantly accusing me of calling her Yanny.

I THINK FRED AND CARRIE SHOULD DO THE NEW THEME SONG @cbbworld.bsky.social

I’m NOT patriotic. Fuck Canada honestly. But Lake Ontario was named by the indigenous folk who lived here before us. It’s been named as such since before Europeans ever landed here. Ontari’io comes from Iroquois and Wendat languages and means lake of shimmering water.

You know when I think about it, those Ripley’s people are pretty progressive for being so inclusive of skeptics. “Believe it or not”. Like, we have empirical evidence but if you’re still not convinced, that’s okay, all are welcome in this big tent. Now check out this lady’s fucking fingernails!

Matt just so perfectly articulated how I feel about most of the weezer catalogue with his description of Beverly Hills. No one in the room seemed to laugh but I rewound this moment ten times and I have tears in my eyes 🤣 @nevernotfunny.com @mattbelknap.bsky.social

Controversially I just want to remind everyone that you don’t know famous people. Every now and then someone from the television I love pops up and I google them and discover they died in 2007, and it doesn’t matter at all. I can still watch their films. I still can’t text them or call them up.

I think the company Hot Wings should trade catch phrases with Red Bull.

I saw one person say “this is literally the worst day of my life” over yesterday’s news. A 26 year old office worker in Ontario Canada had “literally the worst day of her life” @jimmypardo.com

When Matt Donaher said “Tyler’s part of the show!” (trying to justify theft) It made me realize that it’s possible for someone who has an actual social relationship with the show to also simultaneously have the same parasocial relationship to the show that I have. Inspiring! @nevernotfunny.com

Having a baby boomer parent is awesome. Someone whose parents paid the downpayment on their mortgage and fed their children for their first ten years of life will call you lazy for asking to borrow a hundred bucks after they just went on a 2 week vacation. Just fabulous.

This whole trial is deeply misfortunate Seth Meyers. Unless they’re casting a movie about it in which case give him that role.

Revisiting some CBB world classics and episode 1 of Hi(nes) I’m prov to meet you just made me laugh Perrier into my nose during these are 5 things! @cbbworld.bsky.social @williebhines.bsky.social

Apropos of nothing I think Jimmy would make an incredible courtroom television show host à la judge Judy. “The honorable Judge Jimmy presiding”, and Garon can be the bailiff, and Matt and Eliot can do the post presiding interviews! Only Jimmy can judge me. @nevernotfunny.com @jimmypardo.com

If I could punch anyone in the face with no repercussions sure there’s a LOT of people who actually deserve it but for some reason I pick that subway takes guy every time.

I don’t celebrate personally, but I do observe the holiday with the dignity it deserves out of respect for my hero Scott Aukerman! @scottaukerman.bsky.social

Comedy Bang! Bang! World!@cbbworld.bsky.social · 4w ago

Happy small dick month to those who celebrate.

Kayla Dickie absolutely pulling from the Karissa recipe book this week @lilyyily.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

I love CBB live tour episodes because there’s always one guy who laughs with an explosive, long and loud first laugh like “AAAAAAAAAAAHHH HA-HA-HA” and he does it like 3-8 times a show @cbbworld.bsky.social

Karissa really went 2 for 3 with “Axios Stocks” and “Hocksten Sherminator” followed by “Ombré Clabydia” - the first two are inconceivably cool but all 3 made me IJBOL or whatever the kids do now @cbbworld.bsky.social @lilyyily.bsky.social

Garden Time this week was another oral report with Toni cut out of the mix! I personally think the segment Craft Corner needs to be weaponized for revenge. @toniahull.bsky.social

Taco Bell blew the whistle on Taylor Farms, Pizza Hut is moving to tackle the literacy crisis in America, as opposed to the government doing their job. America is truly the most dystopian reality imaginable. So much worse than all the movies ever made it out to be.