matt
@windows98support.bsky.social
📍Londoner 💊 Methylphenidate Connoisseur 💅 I will kill again 🥀 Social Media Manager for Team Keir
• One of those packs of 3 tiny screwdrivers that you get in Christmas crackers • A bag of leftover screws and pegs from the various ikea furniture builds • Batteries of various charge levels • 1 red biro • A notepad you took from a hotel one time • A gen 1 iPod charging cable, the wide one.
A random loose screw that fell out of something and you are not sure what.
Big talk from a man who's entire livelihood has been built off of the back of public funding.
I will personally write Jeremy Clarkson a very nice thank you note, if he legally has to open it without anyone checking the contents first
Not sure why this post popped back into my limbic system
Funny story, one time I had sex with a woman (something I’ve been known to do on rare occasions) and I thought that, as a sexy flirty funny joke, I would say “call me King Arthur, cos I just cum a lot” at the conclusion, let’s just say that still stands as the worst time I’ve died on stage.
Let’s just demolish Oxbridge, it’s produced nothing of value
Sad to see people posting on social media negatively about Rod Liddle, who died yesterday. If I have disagreed with you very strongly in life - and you die - I hope I'll be either silent, or kind.
Me: this might be unpopular, but [objectively wrong statement] Me, later: wow, this really ruffled some feathers
I’ve noticed a lot of trainers (Gazelles for sure, but definitely others) replacing their leather uppers with synthetic leather, for environmental reasons, which doesn’t age nearly as well. The price, notably, has not gone down, but the quality of the shoes has.
Even my Mini Cooper has not been immune. In costs the same but they have removed most of the buttons, downgraded the seats (adjustable headrest and under thigh support gone) leather is now fake “for sustainability reasons” -okay) you can’t choose individual options you have to buy in bulk in a pack…
Remember when Jamie Oliver, as a cost saving tip, suggested people buy their vegetables from a farmers market instead of a supermarket, as you can buy exactly the quantities you want at the famers market, so you don’t pay for stuff you don’t use. This is like that.
I think my most genuinely unpopular take is that a widely held and genuine consumer preference for cheaper, lower-quality goods, not private equity, is driving the decline in quality of consumer goods like clothing and housewares.
“do you have any questions?” Me: “Yes, would you love me if I were a worm? 👉👈🥺” The interviewer: “…any questions about the role?”
If you’re not as social media poisoned as I am, you might be missing the current raging discourse: “saying that women who refuse to date bisexual men, specifically for the reason that they’re bisexual, is homophobic is actually rape culture, btw, hope that helps 💅” Maybe social media is a mistake.
The originator of "hipster analysis" is now a legislator for life, without anyone having voted for her, and only way she can be removed is if she's convicted of a serious crime and even then it's not straightforward
Good we’re all having this covid history lesson and what a fucking disaster it was and how the “hipster analysis” on Twitter was sadly proved fucking right.
Pine Apples is Pine Cones, and Pine Cones is Ice Cream Cones.
well then I guess that's that
The Airbnb I’m in has a weekly cleaner so, obviously, I got up at 6 this morning to give the flat a full clean before they arrived at 8:30.
*Looks up the definition for "pyrrhic victory", and sees a link to @windows98support.bsky.social's post in that thread, there*
Sorry boss, I can’t work today, there’s hot lobsters near me
As someone who is adverse to eating any sea food, I would never eat a lobster. A woman, tho…
christ if that’s not a metaphor for our times