John Dipshit
@wokeoaf.bsky.social
Just pleased to be here. he/him 🇵🇸🇾🇪 🇱🇧
They call me the Gregg Turkington of literature (nobody calls me that)
Mo 🌸📚@moplayspoke.bsky.social · 2d ago1 like = 1 book question 📚💙
How about Oliver Boners. It sells dresses and tat but phallic themed
Big Eamo Dunphy sparking up and dancing around the studio on Packwatch
Breathe easy, InfoWarriors! Sen. Mitch McConnell just called in with a reassuring update from the space between life and death!
This man has clearly never read Vimes Boot Theory
Max Dubler 🏳️🌈@maxdubler.com · 3d agoI think my most genuinely unpopular take is that a widely held and genuine consumer preference for cheaper, lower-quality goods, not private equity, is driving the decline in quality of consumer goods like clothing and housewares.
Few people know this but HP doesn’t stand for hit points but hairline line points. You take enough damage you faint and wake up with a podcast with Ian Dunt
Starmerreich: Shabana Mahmood on the children of Men channel telling you only Britain soldiers on Burnham: he’s got Guy Garvey to narrate it instead
Open the schools but specifically for British journalists- the schools they want, riddled with COVID
Having seen just the Netflix screen saver for Gervais’ Alley Cats I can tell a significant proportion of the punchlines will be calling one of the cats a fat ginger cunt. Your co-workers will lap this up
Polanski should just reference every feint he can. Come out in a salmon pink suit like Mark Henry, follow the Cundy bait apology, all to just culminate in a video telling farage to eat his shit and hair then clucking like a chicken for a good minute
The National@scotnational.bsky.social · last wk.BREAKING: The Met Police have confirmed no further action will be taken against Green Party leader Zack Polanski after he inadvertently shared an image on social media depicting a man wearing a black T-shirt with a picture of a guillotine and the words: 'We’re only making plans for Nigel'
Driven halfway across the country this week and it honestly looks more like Spain or Greece. It’s fucking thirty degrees AGAIN where I am currently. Anyway I’m sure that jabroni labours stuck in DEFRA for something to do will sort it out www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
More than half of England in drought, Environment Agency declares
The drought declarations follow an exceptionally hot and dry period, which has hit rivers, crops and nature.
bbc.co.uk
The Second Coming Starring Chris Pratt as the Falconer And Charlie Day as the falcon
Jesse Hawken@jessehawken.bsky.social · last wk.Studio execs are going to want to adapt more poems for the big screen now
This rules so much. It really is the On Cinema administration
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.Hannity: "My President, Lindsey probably has a heavenly version of Mar-a-Lago. It may even be a little bigger. I wouldn't be surprised if he added one big beautiful ballroom and an arch somewhere on the property. Because he would want to obviously duplicate his dearest friend in life. You."
I’d rather be on the plane with Mohamed Atta
Hemant Mehta@friendlyatheist.com · last wk.Evangelist Whitney Lynn says she preaches on planes because she loves “a captive audience.” She's not alone. It's becoming a trend. If spreading your message requires listeners who can't escape, maybe it's not as compelling as you think. www.friendlyatheist.com/p/christian-...
Patrick Topping implies the existence of Patrick Bottoming
They should remake the Matrix Reloaded but the Freeway scene is on the Spaghetti Junction
Reminder this guy basically come on TV for years to tell us what a bloody bloke Keir Starmer is and wrote his autobiography lol
Atrios@eschatonblog.com · last wk.lofuckingl - not sure what's funnier, the idea that keir was devoured by a hostile press, or that burnham needs to provide better treats to the lobby or else
Burnham sat on a call with Trump pulling the Office Jim face to his social media team camera as he agrees to let the yanks use British bases to terrorise a country halfway across the world
*sits backwards on chair* hey kids, you know how we told you the last guy was just an ordinary bloke who loved pints football?! Check *this* guy out!
If we’re just going to drag the ghost of Christmas past out to an entire vehicle for a disgraced actor, why not go the whole hog. The christmas carol extended cinematic universe: Marley and me, Miniscule Tim, the Ghost of Clear and Present Danger
