emuhlee

@4d9ae5f.bsky.social

aquarium security noticing my bump: How far along are you? me: Excuse me?! octopus under my shirt: *jabs gun in my side a little harder* me: OW, I MEAN 5 MONTHS!

Gonna start a school for politicians to learn how to go on podcasts and I'm going to charge so much money and also the entire thing is going to be rephrasing the sentence, "Now, for this next part, you're going to want to pretend like you're currently a human person."

Had to get a passport-style photo taken at a Walgreens in the US and a weird guy walked past and said "hell yeah white boy you take that picture" and I laughed for a full minute. I can tell I'm still fighting not to laugh in this but it's probably not too obvious right. Do I need to retake this

Indescribably poor passport style photo of me, hbomberguy