Jo
@whatsjo.bsky.social
I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith. ATL• she/her • 🤖💙 • I eat popsicles for breakfast • 🇵🇸
the dairy queen is just a figurehead the dairy parliament is the true seat of power
Not looking up from my phone as I nonchalantly backflip my monster truck over a volcano
These fireworks are not celebratory. I’m shooting them at God
The guillotines could be decorated like Mardi Gras floats for the folks watching at home. Get the schools involved, run a contest, have fun with it, I say.
hey graduates, good job on the four years you spent learning how to learn and think among a community of learners and thinkers. the most exciting news i can think to tell you is that your learning and thinking will soon be replaced by feeding little prompts to an AI. ok now why are you booing me
the government randomly shocks me remotely to stop me from becoming too powerful
Bert and Ernie should have their own show. I don't want to have to watch Sesame Street to see what they're up to. I'm not 5
Every time you drink out of a straw you’re giving a tiny blowjob
Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · last yr.Rep. Tim Burchett told Fox News that he doesn't "drink out of a straw" because "that's what the women in my house do"
As a guy with half a trillion dollars, I have lots of options: 1. Enjoy a 100% stress-free life doing whatever I please in unfathomable luxury all over the world with people of my choosing 2. Have 87 meltdowns a day on a website
I drank one beer at 2 PM and laid down and pulled the earth over me like a blanket and snow fell and grass grew and I turned into a little hill
If you are driving a car and become angered by a bus this should be a You Must Change Your Life moment. The gentleness of this great beast, and its great indifference, should reveal you to yourself.
The National Anthem is speeding up like when you're running out of time in Super Mario.
thinking of becoming an ethereal being capable of interstellar and extra dimensional travel if anyone has some starter tips
spread the Hondavirus by test driving the all new 2027 Accord today
(doing the bare minimum) you have no idea what i go through every day
“Unfollow” : A movie about the cast of The Social Network getting stuck in the Metaverse because Mark shut it down and Justin Timberlake says “This is going to ruin the tour.”
Why isn't a fleet of helicopters just called hellacopters
What if you invented something you’re really proud of and then all the villagers said it’s from the devil :(
It's valid to tell people "I have plans" if your plans are to sit on your couch. That's a type of plans
“Hahaha, of course I’m not a witch,” I laugh, then sneeze and burst into a dozen bats.