I wish I loved anything as much as a British woman loves being named Gemma
Hanging up signs in my window that say “Help he’s poisoning me” to test the mental fortitude of the teenage wait staff working at Kane Street Smokehouse
hello everyone my band put out a new song and i would love if you listened to it dicejail.bandcamp.com/track/caught...
Caught in the Rot, by Dice Jail
track by Dice Jail
dicejail.bandcamp.com
Willy and the Poor Boys by Credence Clearwater Revival was to the Vietnam War what The Eminem Show by Eminem was to the Iraq War. Does this make sense
Every push notification I get from The AP is either “Dogs out this Summer! Read the top 10 best hot dog toppings by state” or “New legislation allows ICE agents to legally disfigure anyone who cuts in front of them at Golden Corral”
If I don’t get to eat cilantro safely again soon I’m going to lose my shit
The Lord only gave me five senses and all of them have been under attack since I stepped foot onto The Island at Pigeon Forge
i won’t stop playing astronaut in the ocean when me and ambyr are in the car, and between the pigeon forge traffic and that song, i think she may finally kill me
It’s just me and my once daily protonix and my twice daily Pepcid and my as-needed tums against the world
Everyone is older than me except for people who aren’t and they’re all infants
What do you guys think the Venn diagram of performatively bisexual cis women and male-centered cis women looks like
Past me: “I can’t wait until I’m older and my brain matures and I can enjoy hobbies consistently and not go through sodoku fixations so intense I dream about it!” 35-year-old me:
Klasik Clasik: Chilling Duck Smokes Cigarette
ALT: Klasik Clasik: Chilling Duck Smokes Cigarette
static.klipy.com
No one knows what it’s like To be the poop man To be the poop man Behind poop eyes
The devil uses the gummy to possess me and then he makes me eat potato chips
Mariska Hargitay is so hot that she might make me a Knicks fan
Squeezing my needoh watching some 35 year old man eat old MREs in his basement
What does it mean if my musician boyfriend has never written a song for me but did name his horse in red dead redemption 2 after me
Daily affirmations 💕 • I don’t have a concussion • I don’t have a concussion • I don’t have a concussion
I gotta get outside more a baby squirrel just visited me at the campsite and I remembered how precious life is
If your four most recently watched is weirder than mine seek professional help
Brittany Broski looks like her name should be Stephanie so much that sometimes I genuinely think of her as Stephanie
why is it the people who make fleetwood mac boho coffee chic noah kahan soft living hopeless romantic posting their whole personality are also the most evil people in the world?
Trying to go back to sleep with 1985 by Bowling for Soup stuck in my head
