Hoodlum makes me laugh and laugh until I backfire fart noises. Which just makes me laugh harder.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · 4h ago

“Did Mitch win his primary?” “No, sir. He’s still dead.” “How about Lindsey?” “He’s still dead too, sir.” “At least Amir Hassan won, right?” “No, sir. He lost to the guy who dropped out last month.” “The Mexicans only gave us one good word, and that’s siesta. Very few people know that.”

Smoking is the new sitting.

Only ONE THIRD of Americans APPROVE of King Dementia Don Pussyneck of Pedophilia. When reached for comment, they replied “Derp!” while eating a raccoon and fucking their cousin. apnews.com/projects/pol...

How much longer before Dementia Don runs out of drunks to hire? Is Ben Sanderson from “Leaving Las Vegas” still available?

Where have you gone, AntifaPuddin’Pop? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you @antifapuddinpop.bsky.social

Hang on sloppy. Sloppy hang on.

Fish waking up in the Reflecting Pool today.

For anyone needing religious inspiration:

The Bluesmobile@bluesmobile.bsky.social · 2mo ago

“It was then that you were locked in my trunk.” Bluesmobile 4:20

The white part of me is deeply offended by this, but the black part of me thinks it’s absolutely haaalarious. Please let me know what you think.

How many fuckin Spider Man movies are we gonna make?

Spider-Man Dancing

ALT: Spider-Man Dancing

static.klipy.com

“So much of the music we hear today is pre-programmed electronic disco, we never get a chance to hear master bluesmen practicing their craft anymore. By the year 2006, the music known today as the blues will exist only in the classical records department of your local public library.” - Elwood

BluesMusic@bluesmusic.bsky.social · 6d ago

Happy Birthday🎂 Buddy Guy🎸9️⃣0️⃣ 🎶'Damn Right I've Got The Blues' #blues #bluesmusic

I get a $10,000 royalty check every single time someone prints this. You should print at least 10 of them. Pay up John Darrigan!!!

Car Print RC@car-print.bsky.social · last wk.

🤯Awesome Build shared by "John Darrigan333" from @YouMaginerc 🏎️ RC 1/10 Bluesmobile 🚓 youmagine.com/builds/ff053... ❓ Download 3D printing model: 👉 youmagine.com/designs/3af7... 💡 Designed by @car-print.bsky.social #3dprint #3dprinted #3dmodel #Buildyoumagine #CarPrint3D

Sundae Gurl brightens every single day with haalarious. My onboard SCMOD computer/8-track radio reads EVERY SINGLE Sundae Gurl post for maximum happiness. You can too at bsky.app/profile/did:... PIN it to hone and — like me — you will always have @sundaedivine.lol riding shotgun.

𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝@sundaedivine.lol · last wk.

Hydroxychloroquine had fewer successful trials than Trump Steaks.

Dirty Dancing 2: Florida Boogaloo I had the time of my life

Hahahahaalarious.

Jonathan Slater@jonathanslater.bsky.social · last wk.

Not Ai

TeamLiamNissanTM — now with 82% more Darth Putin. @darthputinkgb.bsky.social Pin that shit! bsky.app/profile/did:...

My lawyers at Moore, Harder & Dontstop finally convinced @jay.bsky.team to remove the “Rude” label from your beloved Bluesmobile. Time to let my lugnuts hang out with “constructive purpose.” Who’s with me?

The Bluesmobile@bluesmobile.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Because I’m rude. I’m offensive; smelling. I mean, I smell bad. Burp!

What could possibly go wrong with giving Darth Putin our corporate email addresses for all Bluesmobile garages and safehouses? @darthputinkgb.bsky.social

If you know any shithead teenagers, let ‘em know that the days of the “Dollar Menu” are OVER and gone forever. In only TEN years, they will talk about the “Dollar Menu” and 2036 teenagers will be like “whatever grandpa.”

Whatever Yeah Whatever

ALT: Whatever Yeah Whatever

static.klipy.com

Ooof!! #TruthHurts You can always count on Hoodlum and #MailOrderMelania. They are both known as “a sure thing.”

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · last wk.

“But seriously, folks… take my wife. Please. Everybody else already has!” — Henny Oldman

Cletus, in your nightmares, an illegal imigrant takes your job. Why are you MAD at the illegal immigrant and NOT MAD at ALL YOUR BOSSES who broke the law and hired the illegal immigrant to replace you? P.S. All your bosses vote for Republikkkans.

being an ice agent is probably hard. you have to buy all your gear from amazon people hate you because you’re a fucking loser but that sweet 15 minutes a day where you get to harass an immigrant probably totally makes you forget about the divorce

You can always count on Hoodlum.

Hoodlum 🇺🇸@nothoodlum.bsky.social · 2w ago

Elaine Chao: Senator McConnell is a very strong supporter of ICE. He’s been on it for almost two months.

Grindr Premium members got first dibs on all the tickets.

paulpro@mariopro.bsky.social · 2w ago

Lindsey Graham will lie in state in the Capitol Rotunda on Tuesday, July 28 An invite-only funeral service will take place @ Washington National Cathedral, where President Donald Trump will deliver a tribute speech. The service will be livestreamed by the cathedral. @wardsutton.bsky.social

YES there WILL be a “Blues Brothers 3” and YES this song WILL be in the soundtrack.

Jumper Hanging Out on the Line by R.L. Burnside & The Sound Machine on Apple Music

Song · 1997 · Duration 3:14

music.apple.com

Mobile home schooled. I just laughed so hard that I swerved across multiple lanes of oncoming traffic.

Princess Cuntwrap Supreme 🇺🇦@elisabethinwa.bsky.social · 2w ago

There’s no way I lose this one…

RIP Jenny. We’ll see you in the next world. Don’t be late!

Scrap by L7 on Apple Music

Song · 1992 · Duration 2:54

music.apple.com