Do you know how fucking old I am? You try slaying a dragon when every single one of your joints dramatically cracks every time you stand up.

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2w ago

Clearly, I need to wonder why legendary dragon slayer Cassandra can't slay one damn dragon.

😳😳😳😳😳😳 True, however.

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 3w ago

Cassandra likes poetry, long walks on the beach, and leaving your girlfriend naked in a barn.

We call it "partial nudity." It's an envious rift into the world of disgusted noises that grows larger with each passing hour.

You are not invited, Alistair.

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 9mo ago

Cassandra's nude poetry slam. Alistair Theirin friendship +10

Who shall we call an Exalted March upon today? Perhaps we should take a vote...

the maker@themaker90210.bsky.social · 10mo ago

you guys didn't do another one of those weird march things while i was napping did you??

The only person who will be getting launched is Varric. Out of a trebuchet.

Nalia the Nookie Spirit. Cassandra greatly disapproves.

Because they know I would crush them.

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2y ago

Why does no one ever lie to Cassandra anymore?

I apologize. I closed my eyes to take a nap and suddenly it was no longer the Dragon age.

None of you can spell. Embarrassing.

Absolutely — AND I MEAN IT — do not.

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2y ago

In order to romance Cassandra, you must bring her a broodmilf.

...did I just see a demon?

The Blessed Andraste Herself says "trans rights."

Deal. With. A jar of bees.

Why do I feel like I have seen that goat before...?

(SIGH.) I shall never be invited to visit the Lighthouse at this rate.

We can only restore order by getting chased by Cassandra.

What in the name of the Maker is going on here?

(Gasp.) The Maker has returned "for realsies" as the children would say.

It appears that I was right all along, that neither spirits nor demons are to be trusted. (Disgusted noise.)

Every day I wake and- (Gestures broadly.)

"Bob's Your Uncle" is a little ficlet of male Hawke visiting Isabela in Rivain sometime during the events of Veilguard. Taash is there to make things awkward and also because I love them. archiveofourown.org/works/62168710

"Woo-o'-the-wisp" is a Neve/wisp pairing in a way that amuses me but is also NOT weird or bad (but I had the pleasure of being the first to use this tag so I'm sorry). archiveofourown.org/works/62057338

we saw you from across the ruins and we really dig your vibe. can we buy you a drink?

a man wearing a tie and a white shirt is looking at the camera

Alt: a man wearing a tie and a white shirt is looking at the camera

media.tenor.com

the maker@themaker90210.bsky.social · 2y ago

*fires @andrastes-ashes.bsky.social out of the trebuchet*

To: Inquisition Staff CC: Commander Cullen RE: Inquisition Trebuchets The trebuchets have been set up in advance of next week's war games. DO NOT load unauthorized objects into the trebuchets. DO NOT shoot the trebuchets without express approval from the Commander or myself. -Cassandra

What's that smell? Tevinter butt magic?

Has becoming an abomination become trendy? Perhaps I shall try it.

Are you poking fun at me? Just because I was raised in the Necropolis... (Disgusted noise.)

Dragon Age Codex@dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2y ago

When preparing to kill a high dragon, be sure to bring quiet glares and dead people jewelry.