pissed myself off imagining if they made a tinkly piano minor key version of Corona - Rhythm of the Night that they use only in movie/video game trailers

I like scrolling my bluesky feed because it’s the worst news imaginable and then occasionally a quote from moby dick

If you’re looking for something to get blown to, you gotta try out smithereens

I used to read websites and now I just scroll the App That Males You Go Bald and Mad

I’m currently living godless in australia (no idea when our bin night is)

Good initiative but they should take it one step further and have the cases decided by people who post online at least three thousand times a day

Politics UK@politicsuk.com · last mo.

🚨 NEW: Shabana Mahmood has announced members of the public will replace judges in deciding appeals from failed asylum seekers

real ones don’t use AI to make their Facebook flyers

I love to hear every month from Lionel Shriver about how she has been Silenced

My daughter is asking about the order of noun modifiers for her homework and I’m having a full on meltdown trying to explain why physical quality comes before shape and colour

Obelix had it going on. Fall into the potion as a baby so that’s taken care of. Deliver large rocks all day for work and make sure to always follow Desire.

what the fuck is going on

(grabbing a loose handful of muesli from someone's bowl) cool trail mix... why's it wet

No.

Incredible stuff from the newspaper that somehow gives you lead poisoning

[deep breath] The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, Her Lover, Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice, You, Me, Everyone We Know, You, Me, Dupree, Me, Earl, The Dying Girl, And Grogu

In australia they give you a special goo to drink every morning that makes you sick and angry, and for me that goo is the internet

Everyone has at least one Grug in their life (unskilled guy who lucks into everything and you hate)

woke 2 is here

I work in a special education school and the idea that people are somehow "cheating" the NDIS is insane given how much more support the majority of our students' families seem to need

ah ok, all good then

Evergreen

explain to a group of teens in the forest that 8:30 at night is when movies came on. You had to wait until then if you wanted the movies.

really hoping Bolsonaro pulls through this time

Just sold my final Bluesky invite code for $17,000.

there’s should be an app where you can exile yourself but you still get to post

(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now

Got up to the x files episode where mulder stumbles into the ‘bigfoot is a woman’ conspiracy

I need to somehow infiltrate the group of 80 year old Greek guys that sit together in the shopping centre cafe beside the supermarket.