The Cutest Eldritch Abomination
@cryptidvt.bsky.social
Black Disabled VArtist 18+ 🔞MINORS DNI🔞 Miners are safe tho I'm under your closet--Wait...
Live a life where people aren't planning their savings around the fine for pissing on your grave.
WE ARE GO FOR LAUNCH I'm posting this again but remember YOU COME FIRST. ko-fi.com/cryptidvt/go...
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Me, talking to my cat in a bad Russian accent: "I know you are tiny KGB spy but you are so cute when you report my movements back to Putin. It is okay I rather you be Putin spy than the other one."
Dear Hollywood, The more you shove an actor I already get bad vibes off of in my face, the less attractive they become. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
Things are happening. Cryptid is planning an adhd shop where I sell whatever happens to be my hyperfixation at any given moment. Will keep updating my ko-fi shop after i work out a few kinks (shut up). Stay tuned!
Hey who wants to blow up a corporate number with me? My current landlord is gleefully stealing $960 by pretending they graciously returned it for getting caught sidebilling me by the government. They gave me credit, which I refused, and then just took the money back with my rent.
Mitch McConnell disappeared for three months & kept his full salary. Disabled people are forced to prove they’re “still disabled” just to remain in legislated poverty. Folks on SNAP must re-apply and prove they’re “still poor”. Republican Senators don’t even have to prove they’re alive.
GUYS I GOT APPROVED FOR A PLACE!!! THERE'S A KO-FI GOAL UP IF YOU WANT TO HELP(you dont have to. You come first. I mean it)! IM SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!
Happy Kid Dancing in a Club
Alt: Happy Kid Dancing in a Club
static.klipy.com
With the discourse about the OoT remake I'm throwing my two cents in: Us Nostalgic Gamers have to learn the hard truth that not every remake is made for us.
I hate my life. Apparently I'm not poor or sick enough to get any help from the government to get me out of the apartment making me poor and sick.
Person: "What do you know about Nigeria?" Me: "I know it's in Africa. I also know I'm really sorry for how I pronounced it for a while but in my defense I was very young and I had a speech impediment."
Oh I just had a writing session and made a banger of a webtoon... now to actually make it... ... ... ... ... Damn...
My priorities: *hears a child scream outside* ... *hears a dog yelp outside*
Terminator Robot with Glowing Red Eyes
Alt: Terminator Robot with Glowing Red Eyes turning slowly towards the camera... terminator style
static.klipy.com
*slams open door* MISHA COLLINS AND RAMI MALEK HAVE THE SAME FACE *vanishes into confetti*
The only thing c-dramas have taught me is that it's very easy to fool a billionaire... and some really clever curses.
WORLDBUILDING UNDERWEAR! wait no... ... underway. WORLDBUILDING UNDERWAY!!
Me: "I don't know why I enjoy these reborn dramas so much." The asshole in my brain: "Is it because the people pleaser gets to go back in time and say no for a chance?"
Once again thinking about the time I had a dream I won a free snake in a contest and I woke myself up by saying "I don't know where I'm going to keep it. My mom's afraid of snakes." Two problems with that statement. Number 1- I'm 31 and I live alone. Number 2- My mom's dead.
I need to move immediately. This is day 2 I've been woken up at 5am by my neighbors slamming doors and screaming at each other.
DO NOT OPEN ANYTHING FROM ME ON DISCORD!!! DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING SENT FROM MY ACCOUNT!!! REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
My laptop is dying 😭 I'm hoping it will hold on for as long as possible.
For all the fellow cis-hets out there, your genitals are not magic wands that will make 2SLGBTQIA+ people stop being 2SLGBTQIA+. If you cannot reconcile this reality with your “orientation play” kink, seek help. And don’t be an asshole. Especially during Pride.
I fear that we as a society are losing the plot of a "hear me out". A vote for me as president is a vote to bring the true American dream of fucking that weird shadow monster that talks to you from the closet.
Beginner art teacher: "Just practice simple shapes. Don't try to draw anything too complicated." Me: "............Peepaw."
