I wish people would stop asking me why I’m an arsehole. I don’t ask them why they are so stupid…

Folding like a cheap umbrella? The US has removed Iran-related sanctions, according to the US Treasury's website, Reuters reports.

I remember when I used to go on the bus with my dad and he would tell me to say I was under 5 so he wouldn’t have to pay the fare. In the end, I decided to walk to work…

I’ve been up to my neck in chores so far today but here I am now…to make things awkward for you all…

That is some feckin spider…

View from the back of my gaff this evening … sublime!

When I say I need a side hustle, I mean fraud and heists. Not Tupperware and Avon…

On the other hand, I wish I could find Stuart Thompson on this platform. This is the kind of person I like to follow and so should all of us…

Nettlecake@nettlecake.bsky.social · 2d ago

Brilliant letter from Stuart Thompson to Jeremy Clarkson about his comments that benefit claimants should write weekly thank you letters to tax payers detailing how they spend their benefits each week.

I hate Clarkson with every fibre of my being. He’s an arrogant entitled aggressive misogynistic piece of shit who, if he was anyone else, would have a criminal record by now for common assault or worse. It’s not enough that his contract wasn’t renewed. No one should give this vile man a platform.

Nettlecake@nettlecake.bsky.social · 2d ago

Brilliant letter from Stuart Thompson to Jeremy Clarkson about his comments that benefit claimants should write weekly thank you letters to tax payers detailing how they spend their benefits each week.

We should be able to call in healthy. “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I look amazing, my skin is glowing and my hair is shining and I don’t want to waste it on being at work..”

Why do we allow ourselves to be ripped off here by anyone supplying us with our fvcking basic living needs? We are paying massively more for housing (buying or renting), for food, utilities and fuel for our cars. They just wouldn’t put up with this shit in Europe, would they? #RipOffBritain

Just how many heatwaves can we have in a day…

Rod Lidl Rest in peas

I was stunned when I found out I was holding my taser the wrong way! Stunned I tell you!

So I said to my hairdresser the other day, “I fancy a change. What cut would make me look prettier?” A power cut was not the answer I was expecting!

Reasons why I don’t own a gun: 1. I would use it

My therapist suggested I go out for a walk when I get angry. Long story cut short…I’m now in Mexico…

Husband: I want to divorce my wife. Solicitor: On what grounds? Husband: She’s out all night every night going from bar to bar. Solicitor: Do you mean she’s an alcoholic or do you think she’s cheating on you? Husband: No, she’s looking for me…

So I said to the girl at the Tesco checkout, “Can you do this any cheaper? It’s got today’s date on it.” She said, “Listen, lady. Do you want the newspaper or not!”

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children… Just like it says on the bottle!

I’m reading The correspondent I’m going to start writing letters. I already write to two of my grandchildren who live far enough away that I don’t see them as regularly as I see the two that live on my doorstep…I put a comic in, a novelty pencil & maybe a Freddo Frog. They love their letters.

Me: What would you do if I started smoking? My husband: I’d slow down and use more lube…

Life hack #97 Remember to drink lots of water and stay indoors between 11am and November 1st… Follow me for more health and lifestyle advice like this!

'Are Nige has called for Gianni Infantino to resign as FIFA President. Dropped out of the headlines, Nigel? Looking for a good bandwagon to hop on? Man who's been at more Royal Ascots than football matches says what?

And it seems the banks don't want to miss out on the bonanza and so are putting their mortgage interest rates up, even though the BoE isn't... www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

UK mortgage rates rise to highest level for more than a month

Renewed tensions in the Middle East feed through to the costs faced by lenders, pushing up borrowing costs.

bbc.co.uk

Hey @andyburnham.bsky.social Big oil companies (profits up 70%) & the banks (mortgage rates up even tho the BOE held rates) are absolutely shafting working class people. You can do something about this. A windfall tax please on these greedy fvckers will go down well.

Don’t let anyone ever tell you that energy companies are affected by war in any way other than a positive fvcking egregious way. While you’re scratching around trying to make ends meet - simple things like feed & keep your family warm - these fvckers are coining it in. Just fvck them. Fvck them all.

Musk needs to be banned from entering the UK on the grounds of stochastic terrorism @andyburnham.bsky.social

He’s not included because he’s not even an elected official and hopefully never will be again…

Sarah Murphy@13sarahmurphy.bsky.social · last wk.

So, Farage has another hissy fit about ‘the establishment’ not including him in social care talks even though he excluded himself by sticking his snout so deep in the trough he triggered several investigations into his insatiable greed. Pipe down you utter clown. www.lbc.co.uk/article/refo...

My husband was arrested yesterday for stealing the tail off a donkey. The bastard tried to pin it on me!