Derek Landy

@dereklandy.bsky.social

Writer

Are YOU tired of not listening to the first three books as AUDIO EXTRAVAGANZAS in your EARBRAIN?? Rectify that oversight IMMEDIATELY! Go to Spotify! Or Audible! Or other platforms! DO IT OR REGRET NOT DOING IT!

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I'm finally up to date with @dereklandy.bsky.social's Skulduggery Pleasant!! I've been there from the start, but over the years, between no longer commuting to work and other distractions, my reading habits dropped to basically none. I found myself in a state of always nearly starting...

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Interesting thing: even his analogy is wrong. Animating with AI is not like "having sex and then they hand you a baby" — it's like they hand you an adult that you had no hand in raising, no chance of influencing, no way to steering towards becoming a worthwhile human being. It's empty. Meaningless.

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Okay folks, bad news… Due to train issues in Manchester Piccadilly that have been going on since yesterday, I won’t be able to make it to my Manchester signing this afternoon. Manchester signings are always HUGE and wonderful and we really didn’t want to have to postpone, but we have no choice.

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

By A Horse

Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food.

I am thinking I would like to try cake.

Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape.

Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy.

Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much.

I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You  know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on."

Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

There are certain skills for certain types of story. I am good at what I do, but I have tried writing a Future Shock short story for @2000ad.bsky.social five or six times so far and NONE OF THEM have been good enough. So you just keep plugging away, because maybe the next one will be.

2000 AD Comics@2000ad.bsky.social · 4mo ago

2000 AD Prog 2477 is out on 8th April - featuring THARG'S FUTURE SHOCKS: CLEAN SLATE, by: 📝 Script: @liamjohnsontype.bsky.social ✏️ Art: Lucas McCoy 💬 Letters: Rob Steen Subscribe now and get zarjaz free gifts ➡️ bit.ly/2Ws04uc