good bye to the entire internet lol

if you run a small boutique movie theater and you're showing japanese horror classic House (1977) but calling it "Hausu" i should be allowed to strap your most millennial employees to a chair with duct tape and show them r34 of the kids from bob's burgers until they're begging me to kill them

i know already i'm gonna be in the minority on this but Edgerunners 2 is leagues better than the first one, and if this is a sign of where they're taking the 2077 sequel writing-wise, honestly, my excitement has been fully restored

"what do you mean by that" i do not "mean." words fall out of my mouth like marbles and it's your job to pick them up and sort them

80s Punk Guy: [shouting into a speek-and-spell mic] IF YOU DO DRUGS YOU'RE A FAGGOT JUNKIES ARE GAY SO I STAB THEM *says the n word 3 times to "make a point"* Same Guy 40 Years Later: [playing a stadium, standing in front of the wikipedia page for transgender, crying] You Girls Are All So Strong,

It's Not A "Rave" Until Somebody ODs Or Calls The Cops. Otherwise You're You'Re Just "In A Red Bull Commercial"

my wife gave birth to our braindead worthless son in a gamestop in 2006 and i have long suspected this is why he keeps trying to start dumbfuck businesses like "The Hooters of Feet" or "Netflix For Power Tools"

i have invented a camera that removes 20 lbs. it does so by evaporating your soul into abject nothingness.

feeling very vindicated that 2 years ago i was telling people "they're gonna live broadcast an execution before 2028" and they all told me i was fucking insane. well look who's laughing about state sanctioned murder now, idiot

tried to watch camp miasma and made it up until there was a full solid minute of macro shots of chicken tenders being dipped in honey mustard clearly meant to evoke the imagery of "forbidden sex" before i turned it the fuck off

the worse living conditions get the more likely it is for the average person to think that Idiocracy had a point. this should be incentive enough to make sure the world is a better place

every day now i open my phone and learn new sex tips from chinese netizens against my will. we truly live in "a moment in time"

sometimes i like to call up one of my friends who's known me for half my life and cold open the conversation with something like "why come every trans woman i see under the age of 24 now got the facial bone structure of someone who just got scared by a ghost in scooby doo" just to see what happens

how is it that "caretaker" and "caregiver" mean the same thing, but "undertaker" means "killer" and "undergiver" is a word i just made up

silly @adamsandler.click

oh good

On the eve of the digital release of BBBBBBB 'Poop Disco', the new issue of the WIRE ( @thewiremagazine.bsky.social ) has glowing words for the release! Digi: link.fatbeats.com/poopdisco Vinyl: shop.deathbombarc.com/collections/...

You remember when you went to more than two websites. You probably wish you still did. I was late to reading swan boy and I'm still catching up but it's reminding me of when the corners of the internet hid fun things to show you instead of endless pain. Follow branson and read his comic. NOW

Bran 9 From Outer Space@bransonreese.bsky.social · 2w ago

Please read Swan Boy and tell people about Swan Boy and join my patreon to see more/early Swan Boy

i'm gettin pissed off listening to the new Tinashe record like you mean we could've been doing shit this good the whole time and all we had to do was actually commit to making white genocide real and using it to target ag cook

not even joking i forced myself to see what the most recent episode of south park was like and it pissed me off so bad i have decided i actually loved Digger and the fact that it was glaringly obvious to me is completely irrelevant to any criticism i could have of it

Tipper Guro@adamsandler.click · 2w ago

i guess the biggest problem is a film decrying other films for not being as smart as think they are, itself, not being as smart as it thinks it is. also doesn't say anything that mark fisher didn't already say about Children Of Men like 15-20 years ago. fun tho. i will likely hate it in the morning

you missed out on connecting two batteries with a paperclip and burning the house down, forcing your family into legal indentured servitude to an eccentric eugenicist who takes you on as his prodigy until you eventually use CRISPr to give him huntington's and escape and there's no going back

i liked it but also lol motherfucker he just did birdman again huh

Tipper Guro@adamsandler.click · 2w ago

im at Digger looking down from the balcony thru a pair of binoculars and if i see anyone looking at letterboxd on their phone i'm gonna throw a 2 rupee coin from my pocket at them

im at Digger looking down from the balcony thru a pair of binoculars and if i see anyone looking at letterboxd on their phone i'm gonna throw a 2 rupee coin from my pocket at them

technically "I Wish" by Skee-Lo is a song about having body dysmorphia

i could take on the hoal world and noboddy could stop me . [a momentary sadness occurs] Dearest Friends, I hope this letter finds you well. I have elected to move to the woods, where I will pursue a solitary career in shooting myself in the mouth.

u can literally plot the perfect murder and get away with almost all of it and the cops will still catch u because u have "motive" or whatever. i dont know why i even try

sharks, if you'll look here, you'll see my co-founder Dan Skidrow blasting ropes that were heretofore impossible for a 55 year old man to shoot. he's also screaming in confusion and terror. that's because our product makes every time you jerk off feel like the first time you've ever done it.

hell yeah dawg so did i

i'm so happy to see my goat free of his chains. it'll never happen but my god do i hope he one day makes Kurayami Dance into the game it was meant to be

SUDA51@sssuda51.bsky.social · 3w ago

NEXT FUCKING ADVENTURE.