Jetstar shouldn’t even be charging for the flights if we’re being honest.
Kirsty Webeck
@kirstywebeck.bsky.social
Comedian. The people’s stepdad. 🎤 Launceston (sold out) and NZ shows next! 🤣 Come see me tell jokes! 👇🏻 🎟️ https://www.kirstywebeck.com/tickets 📧 contact@kegtouring.com
If you’re not from Melbourne, you’re only allowed to read this first post, not the one below!
150,000 marched yesterday in London for trans rights. Opened the Sky News app. Scrolled and scrolled. Nothing. BBC News app. Nothing. Guardian app. Nothing. This is what actual silencing looks like.
Telling everyone it was coke that flew out of my nose so they don’t know the truth: it was a bogey.
I’m listening to an awesome new podcast. It gets delivered straight to my messages app in 3 minute chunks and it’s all about how my mate is ANGRY at her boyfriend.
Not sure if any of you are on Substack. Just joined. Give me a follow/subscribe. Search thesarahmillican or click this link substack.com/@thesarahmil...
Sarah Millican | Substack
Comedian and writer
substack.com
It’s weird hearing Pauline Hanson banging on about wanting a monoculture. When I was in high school, everyone was actively trying to stamp out a monoculture. We were told not to kiss or share drinks and toothbrushes! A vote for Pauline Hanson is a vote for Epstein-Barr virus.
Fired my financial advisor today. Pam The Bird and Hughesy have got this all under control.
In Australia, when you turn 50 you get sent a bowel cancer screening kit and when you turn 40 you get sent a login for the snap, send, solve app.
OK, rant incoming. I’m on a pet-friendly flight for the first time. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an animal lover but I think it’s absolutely disgusting there are pets onboard this aircraft and I am seated rows apart from them and can’t even have a little peek.
My first time selling out a Cairns show early enough to put an extra show on. Had two belters today. Thanks so much for getting around me, Cairns!
Who do we know in these spots? 👀 Cairns, Nambour, Brisbane, Brunswick Heads, Sydney and Newcastle shows coming up! 🎤
Bit of personal news from me: A distant male acquaintance told me he’s “totally cool” with me having a female partner today so looks like I won’t be ending my eight year relationship!
Got this intra-club tennis email tonight. At no stage does it mention what an offence is, it just launches right into what the punishments are. This is exactly how I’m tackling life in my 40s and you’re all on notice.
🩺 I know I’m not technically a doctor but I think I’ve cracked this case wide open.
My partner washed the outside of our apartment windows which means our neighbours can now see my nudie runs in 4K.
Deeply embarrassed for you if you missed an immaculate night at Thornbury Theatre tonight. We had all the laughs. Didn’t leave a single one for anyone else.
We are at the outdoors shop and everyone here is in a lesbian relationship. There’s a lot of “I’ll see what my wife thinks” going on. Nature is healing.
My friend is coming to see my show again tomorrow night. 🤣
Maybe they meant “boys will be buoys.” Has anyone tried popping one out in the bay?
Am told this one is sold out, but I will be at Oasis on SATURDAY NIGHT. Probably doing that face: megatix.com.au/events/tony-...
Tony Martin and Friends
megatix.com.au