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Earl F***ing Weaver

@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social

Pitching, defense, & the 3-run HR. Loves tomatoes and cussing out umps. Hates pretty much everything else. THIS IS A F***ING PARODY ACCOUNT, ya sumbitches!

4228 Posts1008 Follower393 Folgt
Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 2d ago

Lest you wonder about my drinking habits, I was attempting to type "Legend of Billie Jean" on my phone & "Billie" autocorrected to "Bulleit". The world is in flames, and when it comes for me, I plan to be properly drunk AND stoned.

Asher in five@asherball.bsky.social · 4d ago

The A's just did one of the coolest things I've seen in their broadcast: Just unfiltered audio of the live director calling a Lawrence Butler plate appearance...that went about as well as they could have hoped for.

Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 4d ago

TON gets shit for his bat,& it's deserved. He's never hit for us like he did before we signed him. But I've never doubted his desire to win, & he never carries struggles at the plate into the field. He's like Alonso. He plays with his hair on fire. Hell of a clubhouse guy.

Andy Kostka@afkostka.bsky.social · 4d ago

Tyler O’Neill: “I’d do it again. I’d do it again for these guys. It was a big situation and that ball had to get caught or the run was going to score. … Turned into a win. Obviously, really frustrating, though, personally, having to deal with this.”

Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 5d ago

Dolly Parton was incredibly talented, indescribably gorgeous, and amazingly funny. And all anyone can talk about is what an incredible person she was. There is no possible better epitaph for any person who has ever trod this earth.

FT@fucktheory.bsky.social · 5d ago

Imagine being talented and beautiful and rich and famous and still the most noteworthy thing about you is how good a person you are.

Dee Phunk@deephunk.bsky.social · 5d ago

in 2005, Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar for Best Original Song for the film Hustle and Flow ("Hard Out Here For A Pimp"). Dolly Parton was nominated in the same category. After celebrating heavily, they had a nice personal note awaiting them when they arrived back home.

An excerpt of the oral history of Three 6 Mafia winning an Oscar in 2005 as told to Variety. DJ Paul: I woke up in my hotel room the next morning with my housecoat on and a bottle of champagne in my hand, and the phone ringing because the Hollywood Reporter or somebody was calling for an interview and taking pictures of us. Then we did some interviews and flew back home. When we landed there was so many people in the airport waiting for us, there was applause, the minute we stepped off the airplane people started going crazy, it was almost like a little parade at the airport for us. It was crazy. Juicy J: When we got back to Memphis, Dolly Parton actually sent us a letter congratulating us and signed it, saying she was just happy [the award] came back to Tennessee.
Boze Herrington, Library Owl@sketchesbyboze.bsky.social · 5d ago

Dolly Parton rose from poverty to stardom. She gave $500 to every student in her hometown who finished high school; she built hospitals & bald eagle preserves; her Imagination Library has gifted 300 million books to children. Roger Ebert met her and came away thinking she was a literal angel. RIP.

“In Dallas for the premier of '9 to 5', I had an uncanny experience, and on the plane home to Chicago I confessed it to Siskel: I had been granted a private half hour with Dolly Parton, and as we spoke I was filled with a strange ethereal grace. This was not spiritual, nor was it sexual. It was healing and comforting. Gene listened and said, "Roger, I felt the exact same thing during my interview with her." We looked at each other. What did this mean? Neither one of us ever felt that feeling again. From time to time we would refer to it in wonder.”
mtsw@mtsw.bsky.social · 6d ago

if you're looking for the cause of declining good union manufacturing jobs over the last 50 years, domestic competition from right-to-work sunbelt states is a much bigger deal than foreign competition from free trade.

Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 6d ago

This is technically a sentence. I'm willing to say no one in recorded history has put those words in that order before. So the Tribune invented this sentence. It just doesn't fucking tell me a goddamn thing. It could be part of the Monty Python pilot banter sketch. youtu.be/5rKYL0tW-Ek?...

Monty Python RAF Banter

YouTube video by bakerco502

youtu.be

Chicago Tribune@chicagotribune.com · 6d ago

Oak Lawn and Alsip legalize security foggers to fight video gaming terminal burglaries

Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · 6d ago

If you've met me, you know I'm an amputee. Left leg, below the knee. If you haven't figured it out from reading this account, I have a rather particular sense of humor. Too many years performing comedy have warped my view of the world. /1

Earl F***ing Weaver@earlfckinweaver.bsky.social · last wk.

Look, if you really want to bring manufacturing jobs back to America, you need those tiny fingers to put the screws in those iPods and Samsung Galaxies.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.

BASH: One of the things that's happening is there's a push to start students down a trade school track as early as elementary school. Is that too early? LINDA McMAHON: I don't think so BASH: But elementary school? McMAHON: I think you can have some introduction of skilled trades in elementary