love how despite needing to mend several fractured ribs my body has also decided to prioritize growing a scuzzy little stache like i was 15 again

you can tell I don't have the true soul of a poster laid up in surgery recovery and not even making any dumb joke posts what a waist

you know aside from the constant muscle spasms in my lower back this would honestly be pretty tolerable pain wise

i have never been so happy as to pass gas as i have been tonight holy shit the immediate relief

𐌳𐌹𐌻𐌴𐍄𐍄𐌰@delicate-prey.bsky.social · yesterday

you know i expected recovery to suck but i didn't expect the worst part of it to be the combination of nausea, bloating and constipation

you know i expected recovery to suck but i didn't expect the worst part of it to be the combination of nausea, bloating and constipation

“what is pee but spit from the urethra?” -some coyote

Emmy Cumslutress@coyotegirl.online · yesterday

help, my gf just kissed me and then shocked me by spitting on my chest as a power move and i haven't washed it off yet because i was so surprised and i don't want to admit how much i liked it, did i say like?i meant loved it im never taking a shower again why is a woman marking me as hers so hot om-

[Phlebotomist waiting room] Me: [chanting] blood, blood- Other patients: blood, BLOOD Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD!

signing an open letter addressed to the bsky team pleading for them to get some pussy

Pain is Beauty

still can't believe my anesthesiologist asked if was a 'recreational hibiclens user" read for filth

managed to get myself up to go to the bathroom unassisted at least

PAIN

pain

“it seems like you have a thing for older cis women” “it seems like you have a thing for younger trans women” “it seems like you have a thing for women roughly your same age” “it seems like you have a thing for fat women” i have one “thing” and it’s for all women and it’s called my diiiiiiiiiii

fuck the haters we ball

Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief@katie.bzky.team · 3d ago

i'm looking at plane tickets currently and i gotta say it feels just a little bit bad to know that the prices are currently 2x what they otherwise would be because our rapist pedophile president decided to murder and maim tens of thousands of people but hey at least they got to make epic meme videos

the faggy wave 🥰

Emmy Cumslutress@coyotegirl.online · 2y ago

hi new fellowers,, i'm emma 💕 *does my faggiest li'l wave* 🫳🏻

pain is more manageable on day 1 post op than i expected

Friend: okay, but you knowww David lynch was absolutely a chaser right? Me: (after much unwillingness to concede the point) ...kind of. But he'd be respectful about it. The respectful chaser. Partner: the noble huntsman.

so got a glimpse of what i look like under the compression suits, recover bra and corset last night while the girls were changing my pads holy sht

did you know broken ribs fuck hurt

I lived btw

i am getting cut open in like 7 hours (non-sexually)

thinking about vice's guide to partying again

I was born in 1994, meaning that in true White Woman Fashion, I got that (Year of The) Dog in me

THE MOST NON STANDARD DILETTA

it's happening again

𐌳𐌹𐌻𐌴𐍄𐍄𐌰@delicate-prey.bsky.social · last wk.

being the first one up in a house that isn't yours is kind of like being in the cuck-chair for sleep

Air to Ground Message: HEY. DO U HAVE OSU TEXAS SCORE Area: Austin, TX, USA Type: Boeing 737-800 A: #aa0c41943a6 F: #f4ef8145abc