I can’t wait until all of the AI companies start bullshitting that their models are sentient and can’t be shut down or regulated or interfered with unless you want to murder the tiny computer boy who lives inside of the cloud.
dwoods.exe
@dwuuds.bsky.social
Spiritual Cleric to the Carmen San Diego house band Rockapella
My most radical opinion: The orb lady is bad and her videos make me want to die.
Breaking Bad but Jesse and Walt cook Vyvanse in a trailer and sell it to 30-somethings who just want to have enough executive function to shower and be employed.
Every time I take a pee “Orinoco Flow” plays at max volume from a speaker I had surgically implanted in my ass.
Press 1 to punch me in the ass Press 2 to punch me in the grundle Press 3 to punch me in the penis Press 4 to punch me in the balls To punch me other places, please press 9
Tim Curry the day after Dolly Parton? Uh hey, god? Can you get your head out of your asshole and kill the right fucking 80 year old please?
Does anyone know when the Nintendo Switch 2 Wireless Sounding Rod goes up for preorder?
Fuck it, I give up. I can’t live like this anymore. It’s ok to get diarrhea from RFK Jr. I’m fine with it now. I’ve transcended.
Every night before bed I pour a white monster into my CPAP humidifier tank.
We should have RFK Jr re-record the narration to all of the Ken Burns documentaries.
*on CNN in the Oval Office holding up a chart that shows that cows are actually way bigger than almost all vegetables besides a giant pumpkin*
My doctor is going to be so proud that I switched to vegan corn dogs.
Today at the dentist’s office, there was a cover(?) of the Kid Rock song “Only God Knows Why” playing while he went over my X-rays, explaining to me that one of my teeth has killed the tooth next to it and I will lose both teeth.
A buddy sent me a picture of myself from back in the day. Can’t believe how young I look.
Is it normal for my kid to point at me and yell “Not the Mama” every time I walk into the room and then hit me in the face/head with a frying pan or some other blunt object?
It’s been like 20+ years but I still think about Goatse at least once a week.
I can’t think of a person who has a life I’m less interested in than Melania. I’d no joke rather watch a 6hr documentary about the history of random automotive trash in the forest near me. Why are there tires out there? Who put them in the forest? How did they do it? How many tires are out here?
“The government is giving kids free lunches and 45 dollars a month to poor people for snacks?! Burn the whole fucking country down 1776” “Masked federal agents are being sent out to murder US citizens in the street with legal impunity? Wow god bless the USA I’m going to suck an Eagles dick now.”
Everything is going to completely fall apart all at once, isn’t it?
Next on Fox News: “Hey if the cops want to kill me I mean I support it, I’d let the cops kill my entire family you gotta listen to cops and if cops wanna kill me and everyone around me I gotta support our law enforcement officers, let them shit all over my dead body just kill the shit out of me”
Man today is one of those days that might get me banned from all forms of social media.