Fae ✨✨

@faelyix.bsky.social

35 year old, bisexual woman bruh i just exist expect the possibility of posts about ffxiv (spoilers thru dawntrail 7.4!), honkai star rail, pokemon, pretty aesthetic things, vtubers, etc (icon by @fleetfootart.bsky.social)

frustrated that work on my stuff keeps getting brushed to the side but if i get upset and point it out then its going to be my fault for being impatient im so tired of never being high enough priority anywhere.

doing a full rewatch of MHA after having finished it a few months ago, and im getting near the end once again ... and i forgot how utterly heartbreaking the story of touya todoroki is. ive never been so glad to hyperfixate on something with an abundance of fanfic. i need fix-it fics to read stat

im reading fanfic and a funeral scene comes up and i just felt this sharp pain run through me remembering my moms funeral two years ago, sitting next to my aunt and sister i hate that something so stupid ripped all these thoughts back up again i miss my mom so much

i feel genuinely miserable, mentally and physically all this mixed up in my brain is making me so anxious and i do not have any cbd to force myself to mellow out i want to curl up and die, honestly fuck

depressed and tired and trying not to fall into the looping trap of “nobody wants me around” but man its hard. distancing myself from friends bc of that feeling only makes it worse bc it makes ppl think i want to be left alone too. get me the hell out of here 🫠

not to be horny on main but man i would kill to find an anime style artist that i vibe with that is comfy with some kinks and has open commissions to get a certain idea out of my head but 1 - idk how comfy i feel putting said kinks out in the open to find artists bc i feel like i would be judged

a major part of me hyperfixating on redesigning my oc/sona is so i can commission lots of good selfshipping art fuck it man i dont care... need to make pretty rainbow dragon girl with a fat ass and huge tits so she can get naked with hot fictional men and women...

man i wish i wasnt so afraid of everything cause the thought of camping on my own came into my head but i can think of several fears and worries that would prevent me from committing to that maybe someday i can work up to that but with my mental state thats not going to be soon

it took watching a video essay abt those stupid ai girlfriend apps to remember my own singleness and loneliness but damn despite all that im glad i never fell into the ai dating shit yknow i may not have super realistic expectations but id rather imagine someone than resort to ai

sometimes when i see ppls takes or responses to others on social media that are awful i cant help but imagine them as a cartoonish villain tilting their head back and curling their lip in disgust as they prepare to give a monologue honestly makes it easier to roll my eyes and scroll away tbh

every time I touch xiv modding I am floored by how unorganized, unexplained, and absurd everything is. 17 mod sites, completely arbitrary mod selections across them, redirects to 20 different file hosting services, $0 kofi mods. 7 different bodies, "only available for grooble, NOT for fido+!!!!"

forgot to post pictures earlier but the @jocat.net glam contest was fun and i'm glad ppl liked my glam so much 😭 ... buuuuut i was so anxious and shaking that i barely took any pictures during the contest LMAO have 2 hastily taken pictures plus a decent full look at Tiara's glam!

BildBildBild

trying not to have a panic attack because i messed up in booking my flight out for a family trip when i was supposed to be coordinating with everyone else's arrival times thats fine and all but my dad calling me immediately after and saying i need to rebook and 'do better' made me shut down