Blink 182 cosplay is a critical part of my morning routine

Before anti-anxiety meds: maybe I need a gun for when society collapses After anti-anxiety meds: maybe I need to learn to sew for when society collapses

The dirty soda trend has made me realize bullying may have a place in society.

Before anti-anxiety meds: maybe I need a gun for when society collapses After anti-anxiety meds: maybe I need to learn to sew for when society collapses

Have kids so you call yell “stop jitterbugging to Sean Paul!!” half an hour after bedtime

Bought a premade potato salad and there are chunks of PINEAPPLE mixed in this is lunch terrorism

trying to go to bed but this book is TOO good

One of our two internet providers in town is down, so the grocery stores can only take cash. I just taught one of the children running the cash register at Safeway how to crack a sleeve of quarters like an egg. Generational wisdom.

Thrilled to have two stories in @doesithavepockets.bsky.social. Read about a six inch cheerleader-- and another story about what the stars want. Thank you Camille Griep and team for giving these stories a lovely home. www.doesithavepockets.com/fiction/clau...

Claudia Monpere — Does It Have Pockets

Give Me a Push | What the Stars Want

doesithavepockets.com

Hands down the highlight of the reception was two little boys double-fisting crucifixes, one yelling “now the demons can’t get us!”

Frances “Poet Laureate of the Robot Alliance” Klein@fklein907.bsky.social · 3d ago

After 103 years of devout Catholicism, my grandma had built up a massive collection of statues, medals, and other religious tchotchkes, so we had a big table at the funeral reception for people to take things home, and I tell you what, people LOVE funeral favors

After 103 years of devout Catholicism, my grandma had built up a massive collection of statues, medals, and other religious tchotchkes, so we had a big table at the funeral reception for people to take things home, and I tell you what, people LOVE funeral favors

"What those woke Quakers seem to forget is that we live in a free country. If I can no longer decapitate whales to harvest their cranial fluid for candle wax, then democracy is dead."

I’m Captain Ahab and I Say We Must Never Transition Away from a Whale-Based Energy Industry

“What those woke Quakers seem to forget is that we live in a free country. If I can no longer decapitate whales to harvest their cranial fluid for candle wax...

buff.ly

cleaning out drawers at my grandma’s and sliced my finger on a razor from the 40’s what superpowers do we think I’m getting

excited to be in @havehashad.com again with a tiny micro about a bar for ghosts. grateful to @aaronburch.bsky.social + any of you who read it 💀 🍻 👻 www.havehashad.com/hadposts/whe...

Okay folks, I need recommendations for parenting resources (books, websites, podcasts, whatever) to help me help my seven year old manage negative feelings. I appreciate any and all thoughts!

Coworker: but she needs an IEP Me: why do you think that? Coworker: she doesn’t like school Me: that’s not one of the qualifying diagnoses for an IEP Coworker: so what kind of IEP can you give her?! Me: *sets myself on fire*

Frances “Poet Laureate of the Robot Alliance” Klein@fklein907.bsky.social · 2w ago

Me every time someone at work asks why I won’t “just give a kid an IEP”

*invention of the baby carrot* Scientist: it should taste like a carrot, but project the sensuality of a naive ingenue in the big city Assistant: in…genue…got it Scientist: oh and it should be soaking wet Assistant: that goes without saying

Adding a sixth stage of grief called hoarding where you compulsively surround yourself with the dead person’s clothes and possessions

@msstefaniekirby.bsky.social was right, swim lessons is really the prime activity for editing poems

damn grandpa was cool as hell

Me every time someone at work asks why I won’t “just give a kid an IEP”

Patrick Star Headbanging at Krusty Krab

Alt: Squid ward slamming his head into the cash register at the Krusty krab

static.klipy.com

This is a very, very good book.

Justin Bryant@justinwriter.bsky.social · 2w ago

I’m no addiction expert but I feels like a bad thing that all the “quit drinking” apps cost money

the next update will allow Bluesky elders to choose which of their followers are entombed with them

well well well

not NOW, paris review rejection

The youth are learning the consequences of early 2000’s fashion

All I can say is the Maine democrats better have seen Troy Jackson naked, I can’t go through this again.

jokes on everyone, turns out you CAN take it with you. your ancestors are in heaven poor as hell.

Love to style what I think is a cute outfit and end up looking like an extra from Pirates of Penzance