The Flat Universe Society
@flatuniverse.bsky.social
Like the Flat Earth Society, but way bigger. And way less wrong. Ω = 1 Join the FU Society today!
@neildegrassetyson.com I have a sincere question: The earth is tilted at 23.5° relative to the plane of our solar system. Our solar system is tilted 60° relative to the plane of our galaxy. What is the tilt of our galaxy relative to the plane of the flat Universe? Thank you!
They say graphene (a single atom thick) is the flattest thing in existence, but if you made an earth sized sheet of it, gravity would cause it to just crinkle up and wrap around Earth’s spherical surface. Even a small sheet of it bends, infinitesimally, in response to earth’s gravity. Flat my ass.
The flattest material in the world
The Nobel Prize for physics goes to Andre Geim and Konstantin Novoselov, both Russian-born physicists now working at the University of Manchester in the U.K., for their discovery of graphene.
phys.org
The Milky Way is so alone tonight in this motel vending machine in Alabama. I will consume you, lonely sentinel.
If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go? Trouter space.
The U.S. Congress has asked the flatness experts at our society to review a proposal for a federal flat tax rate. Here is our report, in full: Flat spacetime bends around massive celestial objects. Accordingly, a flat tax should bend to a higher rate around massively wealthy people.
It’s hard for an astronomy themed vulgarian like me to find his community, so you can imagine my joy when I found a subculture of French folks devoted to the “vulgarisation d' astronomie”…and my heartbreak when Google Translate told me it just means “popularization of astronomy”.
It finally dawned on me to google “Flat Universe Society” just in case it might actually exist. Turns out there’s a dodgy FlatUniverseSoc account on Xitter. This tiny fly-by-night operation burped out 8 tweets in 2017 and disappeared. Our society will be forcibly enrolling their abandoned followers.
Flat Earthers, dust off your tinfoil hat and report for duty: The Flat Universe Society hereby enrolls/conscripts all of you into our organization! * Welcome, misguided but brave pioneers. Gooble gobble. One of us! This is an unavoidable merger, not a hostile takeover. *Annual membership fees apply.
BREAKING!: "the geometry of the universe is flat, like a sheet of paper.." - NASA
WMAP- Shape of the Universe
Public access site for The Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe and associated information about cosmology.
wmap.gsfc.nasa.gov
Can you place a phone call by repeatedly hanging up a landline phone? Yes! Get a dial tone, then rapidly press the plunger buttons, say, three times. Congrats! You’ve just successfully imitated a rotary phone dialing a “3” To place a call, just tap out all the digits, leaving a pause between them.
Uranus spins on its side. This means that one of Uranus' poles is often pointed towards the Sun. Let’s just say the truth out loud: Unlike every other decent planet, Uranus is literally bent over, pointing its butt at the sun. A line drawn from its south pole stabs our sun once every 84 years. (1/3)
Atoms are binary. They are either intended to be hydrogen or helium. We can't just scrap this worldview just because of a handful of exceptions
Propelled by thrusters of atmosphlatulence.
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜@unfitz.bsky.social · 2y agoFlat earther astronauts don’t orbit, they just hover above the atmosphlat.
Steven Hawking noted that of the infinite number of universes only those with exactly the correct density for forming galaxies would give rise to sentient observers such as humans: therefore the fact that we observe Ω to be so close to 1 (ie, flat) would be "simply a reflection of our own existence”
You do some shoplifting, you go to jail for a million seconds (12 days). You commit a brutal murder, you go to prison for a billion seconds (31.7 years). What crime do I have to commit to get sent to prison for a trillion seconds (31,710 years)?
Wikipedia, mansplaining the Shape of the Universe. “Many textbooks erroneously state that a flat or hyperbolic universe implies an infinite universe; however, the correct statement is that a flat universe that is also simply connected implies an infinite universe” Quibble-quibble. Sh*t’s flat, yo.
It was so cool when Einstein wowed everybody with his e=mc2 thing, and then we all suddenly understood spacetime, despite it making no fookin’ gut-sense to any of us (still).
Dang, someday soon the only job left for a pancake like me is gonna be changing the belts on automatic pancake machines.
East Essex Hackspace@eehackspace.bsky.social · 2y agoA nice addition to the space was this automatic pancake machine. We have managed to source some mix and are now looking at how to replace the belts which needs replacing every 3,000 pancakes (about a weekends worth)
A bluesky account based on quasi-educational flat universe jokes will inevitably run out of steam. Unless its comedic density just so happens to match critical density of the Universe at 10^{-29} g/cm3, which it does, making this shizzit muzzafukkin flat and muzzafukkin immortal.
“The observable universe (of a given current observer) is a roughly spherical region extending about 46 billion light-years in all directions” But a few paragraphs later: “the observable universe is spatially flat with an unknown global structure” Pick a side! en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shape_o...
Shape of the universe - Wikipedia
en.m.wikipedia.org
What does the flat universe sound like on a cold December night? Maybe like this: youtu.be/e- _soDLfECU?si=QErgvUVigNNeh_Bg
Looped
YouTube video by Bowery Electric - Topic
youtu.be
