Behold my new shed

Poet, author, miner, soldier

Revan@revan.eurosky.social · last wk.

Enough “what would you do on the commune questions” If you got sent back 100 years and were given your grandparent’s job, what are you doing?

What's your sign?

Graham@grahamofthedead.bsky.social · last wk.

What's your sign?

Ray Brooks

Nanoraptor@nanoraptor.danamania.com · 2w ago

You suddenly get a narrator describing your life and there’s no way to turn it off - everyone can hear it. While shopping, at work, at home, with friends - the voice narrating your every move goes on. Who do you hope is the voice of this narrator?

Random shit you find in the shed #randomshityoufindintheshed

♠️THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT, BABY I DON'T WANT TO LIVE FOREVER♠️

Secret Drug Addict@scrtdrugaddict.bsky.social · 2w ago

I've just been appointed Minister for Indifferent Capybara

It's not as warm today as it has been recently #BurnhamOut

Dot is still troubled by her decision to let Nick die of a Heroin overdose.

There's nothing new about that refcam effect. I was doing that with Special Brew 30 years ago

Andy Burnham announces a new minister for The North.

June Lewins@joonloons.bsky.social · last mo.

Andy Burnham announces a new minister for The North.

I will gladly accept Andy Burnham as our next Prime Minister, as long as someone in a fox costume supports his every public appearance

London New York Paris Munich Everybodytalkabout Pop Musik

Princess Shug@princessshug.bsky.social · 2mo ago

What are your six bucket list cities you’ve yet to visit? Lisbon Krakow Barcelona San Francisco Jerusalem

THERAPIST. "Just take your time and show me on the doll.. " PINOCCHIO. "I don't think you quite understand, mate.."

🎵Her penis, her penis, the greatest gift that I posses I thank the Lord that I've been blessed With more than my share of her penis🎵

Natasha Devon@natashadevon.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Breaking - Michael Deacon of the telegraph issues ‘everyone stop saying ‘her penis’’ challenge …

Yep

I hope those £13.75 memory insoles aren't as good as they're advertised, because I've just called them a pair of overpriced twats and told them to fuck off.

I see yer dad's bouncing back after the divorce. Given himself a new nickname

Yer dad revs his trolley when Meat Loaf comes on the in store radio

You know you're middle aged when the best buzz you've had in ages is staying up late for the cooler temperatures

🎶Round the Ole Oak Tree…🎶

When I was married I used to watch porn on rewind so I could fantasise about a woman putting her clothes on and leaving the house on time.

I'd rather not, thank you very much.

These rappers names are getting weirder

I found a tired and confused bumble bee crawling around my kitchen earlier but I refused to give it anything because they only spend it on drink.

Found in Aisle 3 of B&Q. You might need some help getting it in the boot of your car.

Sunkissed Peaks @sunkissedpeaks.bsky.social · 4mo ago

What's your best reply??? Well hung??

Zapruder

I refused to watch the Grand National as my principles preclude me from participating in the exploitation of animals that don't taste very nice.

Falco there, sporting the confidence that can only come from knowing you'll never be Austria's worst export #totp

Sinister nonce buffet #totp