Tessera

Lev Parikian@levparikian.bsky.social · last yr.

GHORMAN HOTEL CLERK!

“MURUN BUCHSTANSANGUR”

Homage must be paid.

A yellow Labrador Retriever, paying homage to the bucket fountain in
Cuba St, Wellington, NZ.

I just got this email, and thought "where's Retire?"

An email message header, beginning "Aratere to Retire"

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a David Seymour, must be in want of an old-timey circus cannon (from which to fire him).” - Jane Austen, possibly

Haus of Decline@hausofdecline.bsky.social · last yr.

Wow (thread)

A man says "fuck it. I wanna be serialized. I'm tired of living comic to comic. I want to experience more. I don't want my eternally reviving body to be used for momentary vignettes. I want to be somebody." Another man says "Oh Gary, I don't think it works like that. We are doomed to nothingness after the next panel." Gary shakes his fists toward the heavens and shouts "NO! I refuse! My name is Gary! I deserve more life!"

Harry Turtledove @hntdove.bsky.social · last yr.

Post a warning.

Two road-signs sit on a pole, one forbids u-turns, the other has faded so that only the warning cicle remains, and the subject of its forbidding is lost to time.

Post a warning.

Ryan Reads and Writes 📚✨@ryanreadsandwrites.me · 2y ago

I have a big ask. My 9yo son is autistic and he’s been raising a betta fish he named Kevin. Yesterday He asked if he could “share a photo of Kevin with the whole world“. I don’t know if this will work, but a dad’s gotta try. Like and share if that’s your thing. Kevin says hi! 🐟👋

Eddie Clark@dreddieclark.bsky.social · 2y ago

Fuzzy sweaters? Pill issue.

Can't keep your job in politics? Spill issue.

One for the block list.

Cutting an aluminium door insulation strip with some long-handled metal cutters, holding them close to my body, and not realising that one of my testes was between the handle, so when the strip suddenly let go that testicle got squeezed rather uncomfortably.

Viv@v.milcom.in · 2y ago

Hit me with your most embarrassing injury. Mine is spraining my side trying to remove a shirt.

Corey’s G’Autumn Gagged 🏳️‍🌈@thealmostbear.bsky.social · 2y ago

Add one letter, ruin a movie. Top Gurn

a bald man wearing a blue shirt is making a funny face

ALT: a bald man wearing a blue shirt is making a funny face

media.tenor.com

Add one letter, ruin a movie. A Stare Is Born

Maggie Astor@maggieastor.bsky.social · 2y ago

Gandalf: I suppose you think that was terribly fucking clever.

Okay, friends, it's time to play an old game: If you could put one curse word in one line of each Lord of the Rings movie, where would you put it?

John Hart @farmgeek.bsky.social · 2y ago

How to lose a customer:

A mobile record store account, complaining about cycleways, on a Facebook post.

Strands #66 “Can you digit?” 🔵🔵🔵🟡 🔵🔵🔵🔵

No hints, no extraneous words... Strands #61 “A shade envious?” 🔵🟡🔵🔵 🔵🔵🔵

BlueShiftNZ@blueshiftnz.bsky.social · 2y ago

Wild Wild West Side Story

Saint Elmo's Firestarter

The Beehive Letters @thebeehiveletters.bsky.social · 2y ago

Winston Peters to Chumbawampa RE: Tubthumping #nzpol #satire #kikorangi

Look here Mr Wampa,

First of all, who the hell do you think you are. You think some cease and desist is going to stop me playing your lame little song? You think I’m going to sit here and let you call me small-minded and divisive when I’ve successfully brought together so many disenfranchised groups who just want to ask questions about vaccines, gender identity, and whether the deep state is modifying our weather to make frogs gay?

If anything I should be sending you the cease and desist. Drinking a whisky drink? A lager drink? I’ve been doing that since before you were an anarcho-communist twinkle in your fathers eye. It’s vintage Peters and I won’t be ripped off.

You come at me again and you’ll have three hits. Your hit Tubthumping, then me hitting you, then the ambulance hitting the gas.

Anyway, I’m ditching your song and switching to the much more appropriate Rage Against the Machine.

Peters

SCENE: Interior, morning ME: There's a job going at the Seaview Marina, apparently. HER: What is it? ME: It's a big place with boats, but that's not important right now. HER: (stares blankly)

CEO Johnny Cans@oldmatecans.bsky.social · 3y ago

Quentin Tarantino's Macbeth

Werner Herzog's Love Actually

eh@woketopus.northsky.social · 3y ago

Hamwallet

MAKE A PLAY X RATED A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream

This is not a drill:

A screenshot of an email message about "Running Man" being added to Netflix.

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸@ahhmandah.bsky.social · 3y ago

WIMDY

A yellow Labrador stands on a sea wall, her ears blown by the wind.

imagine being so stupid you think you can "review" a treaty. bro it's already agreed with its signatories. there's a whole ass tribunal making sure it's honoured for their descendants. you reckon you're gonna renegotiate with people from two centuries ago? fucking idiot. gibbering moron nitwit

Finally deactivated my account at the other place, after waiting five days for my archive. I have a number of codes for here, if anyone knows anyone.

#eqnz Just a little one?

Brainmage.itch.io @brainmage.bsky.social · 3y ago

Well, this was a surprise. Wordle 837 2/6* ⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 #dailywordleclub

Is YOUR child texting about 15 minute cities? Get to know the signs: smdh - Shops? Meagre distance homeward lol - Local! Oh, local! imho - Infrastructure means helpful options lmao - Let's mosey about outside tbqh - Totally biked quickly home wtf??! - Walked too far??!