own up right now. which 200k of you are taking the shot without the chaser
this is my impression of JFK if he wanted to fuck the moon: we choose to go to the moon not because it is easy, but because i am hard
i want to travel the world! so i can play balatro in other countries
*bob mortimer on would i lie to you*: i was coronated the king of djibouti in 1983 [8 minutes of whimsical nonsense] mortimer: it's TRUE!
hey man really looking forward to the party!! is it cool if i cancel like 15 minutes before i leave on the day?
in the iceland club. straight up "bjorking it". and by "it". haha. well. let's justr say. My veanus (as a boy)
ive never made an honest mistake. only dishonest mistakes. oh i misspelled a word? did it to fuck with you
"aww the cat distribution system!" i say, stuffing a zoo lion into the back of my three door
headline: man who stole 18 animals from the zoo named me: HE DIDNT HAVE A NAME UNTIL JUST NOW???
*doing that thing where someone dies and i close their eyes but i do it one at a time*
i am getting so good at identifying birds! for example, if you show me pictures of two different birds, i will almost always be able to tell you that they are both birds
guy at moorgate going absolutely hog wild on a flute over a trap beat at midnight, not even busking. i love this city so much
didn't read the "Police driver who hit" part of the headline and cheered out loud on the bog
we interviewed some people about what they make of this, clearly good news. but, for measure, we also interviewed some absolute fucking idiots
uber eats: u look hungry me: ya uber eats: but ur so fuckin lazy me: ya uber eats: i bet little piggy wants a 15 dollar ice cream cone delivered me: ya