jeremy kaplowitz

@jeremykaplowitz.com

nyc "comedian" plz follow @quorators.bsky.social ty

I don't even know what to say. This is real, this is true, so, like, thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. This took over 25 years to happen so if there's any lesson here it's either "keep at it, who knows" or "many people are divorced"

image of a gold record superimposed on part of Vaughan Oliver's iconic cover for the Mountain Goats' "Tallahassee" album, with a banner beneath it showing the entire album cover, an RIAA seal, and the text: Presented to THE MOUNTAIN GOATS to commemorate the RIAA Gold certification of more than 500,000 copies of the 4AD single "No Children"

hey sorry man i gotta get back home. i got catdog and i have to help him poop every three hours. yeah he's got like a special hole under his belly fur, it's a whole thing. really great to catch up though!

if Trump runs for an illegal third term, i need the democrats to try and stop him, and not rub their hands together, like "he he he how unpopular! now he'll *definitely* lose to our candidate...liz cheney!"

people love to say "you must be fun at parties!" whenever you have a different opinion than them about a movie. but i'm not the one talking about movies at a party. i'm talking shit about someone my friends and i knew in college

it's funny that one of the darkest movies about WW2 is called Come and See. like "oh don't believe us that the nazis were bad? why don't you come and see. why don't you take a look at how bad they were, asshole"