Just a quick lesson on how I fixed Spencer Pratt’s US Weekly cover using Photoshop and some of its standard, non generative A.I. tools. #photoshop #thisguystinks
Next First Draft Feeling premieres Wednesday on YouTube Dec 10th @ 8pm ET. Come join me and two of my favs @carmenlagala.bsky.social & @jimtews.com work on new jokes about weight loss, medical procedures, roommates, being 40 & car vandalism YouTube.com/lizmiele to watch
They call it "Wonder" cause it moves into your neighborhood and you wonder where all your favorite local spots went.
If Zohran becomes mayor of NYC I will move. To the kitchen. Where I keep the celebratory champagne.
I like how we've started treating NYC mayoral candidates like romantic interests on Seinfeld. ELAINE: He ate a burrito with a knife and fork! JERRY: So? ELAINE: On the subway, Jerry! JERRY: Oh no.
Dr. Teeth, Janice, and Animal live from the Tompkins Square Dog Parade
The look this fall in Bushwick: “I hiked through the woods to see Turnstile.”
Generations of Americans romanticize cars because they associate it with the first time they had sex. If it were easier to have sex in a bike or on a bus, we’d have better urban infrastructure.
Froze my credit this morning. Can't wait to thaw it in twenty years and teach it all about the strange new world its living in.
I need the YouTube algorithm to understand that an interest in skateboarding does not equal, or lead to, an interest in in-line skating. If the algorithm was alive in the 90's it would know that.
This administration's "look what you made me do" approach to leadership is weak, dawg. Imagine taking your daddy issues out on entire population.
Financial gurus: I have about 73 cents left over at the end of every month and I'd like to invest. I'm 44 and would like to retire by 125. I'm willing to take some risks, but prefer long, steady growth. Thoughts?
An animated joke about my favorite video game, NBA Jam! Animated by @jimtews.com
I've been doing some editing work for Sesame Street this month so between catching news bytes about the fabric of our country disintegrating, I get to watch Sesame Street.
People will say its hard to survive a career in the arts because of unpredictability, but it's actually pretty consistent. I've made the same amount of money every year for the past decade.
We're going to get Nazi Germany without the whole Weimar era arts and culture stuff. No experimental theatre and crazy films. No design movements. Just a homogenous Netflix series and fever dream TikToks of Will Smith eating spaghetti and then authoritarianism.
I hold my own general strike for about twenty minutes every morning before the coffee kicks in.
Modern medicine is a load of hooey. I prefer tried and true remedies handed down from the village healer, right before they died of a mystery illness at 38.
A career in the arts is a marathon, not a sprint. And a lot of people shit themselves during marathons so don't feel weird about doing that.
celebrities out walking the characters they’ve played instead of their dogs: thread
Why do I keep obsessing over which new action camera to buy when I mostly just climb stairs and roll around the skatepark once a week, barely leaving the ground? Where is this action I supposedly need captured by a specific camera?
People wanting to pin a binary political affiliation to premeditated shooters, (who are usually young white dudes) are completely oblivious to the extremely online, antisocial, political nihilist types they more likely are --