apparently underboob is illegal here??? wow
Jessica@jizzwitch.bsky.social · 3mo agoanyone who's ever called me Daddy owes me a beer today
Jessica@jizzwitch.bsky.social · 3mo agothere should be a word for a reverse shout out, when you need to point out how bad or dumb a specific person is reverse shout out to Robert Graves btw
found out the yoga studio I've been teaching at is doing massive wage theft to all the instructors. namaste 🙏
it makes sense that the cuck mindset is so huge with straight men rn because watching straight porn is already cuck adjacent oh, you're getting off to some other dude fucking a hot woman while you sit alone and jerk it? lol cool
took the polycule to a team building ropes courses in the woods and two of our nonbineys have gone feral. they've already sprouted tusks. I can hear them rustling in the underbrush nearby
doing divinations today, sliding scale based on how hot or oppressed you are. we can use a traditional deck or the very horny George Bataille deck, up to you
remembering the time I posted that dryjacking makes men bad at sex and how many dudes got so mad they sent me death threats on that anonymous AMA platform people used to use
Let's decode what happened here — first, you saw the best minds of not just any generation, but 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 generation. Were they sane, clothed and well fed? No. They were destroyed, not just by madness — but starving hysterical. The real kicker? They were naked
can anyone explain why the British have coined so much egregious sexual slang? worst offender: "rumpy pumpy"
a student came to my 530 hot vinyasa class this morning wearing cutoff skinny jorts
therapy: lame, takes forever, expensive going beast mode: cool as hell, instant results, free
ladies, I don’t need to hear your lamentations at all. crushing my enemies and seeing them driven before me is enough #ally #notallmen
got the results of my MRI back and it turns out I've been exercising on a torn meniscus for 4 months anyway I'm gonna go meditate in Nepal for a week about it and hopefully receive shaktipat and siddhis from a guru so I can heal it with the power of my own prana
your gym playlist is a sorcerous incantation. choose it wisely
using this dungeon crawl classics illustration as a to do list. I figure I'm at about step three rn and look forward to my continued monstrous transfiguration as I unveil further occult mysteries
*driving 5 minutes extra to the farther away WinCo because they have a better bulk section* my supply lines are too extended rn idk if I can survive the winter seiges
you hear people say "for the time being" all the time but no one ever asks who the time being is it's me, I'm the Time Being. thanks for all that stuff you've been doing for me
the primordial urge to "try a French bob" after dedicating three years growing your hair to your waist
I have finally succumbed to The Illness and require treats and other kindnesses
got hired to teach yoga at a gym and I get a free membership which can only mean one thing: lifting weights until my ass cheeks resemble 2 bowling balls