With a more robust economy creating opportunities for all Americans, country girls will no longer have to make do
(talking to the other dads at the cookout) they should sell televisions that don’t whisper to you using the voices of dead people am i right? this guy knows what i mean. he’s heard the terrible things they say
(fanning a deck before you) pick a card, any card. your favorite card. the one you hold dear. the one you think of when you’re with your wife. the card that makes you want to be a better man.
reminder: a real apology contains these four elements 1. an admission of wrong-doing 2. acknowledgement of the impact on the wronged 3. a refutation of "the trickster's code" 4. maybe some hand stuff if both people are cool with it
sometimes people on here post about Rust the programming language(?) and I think they're talking about the video game that I haven't played but it looks kind of fun when I see people playing it on twitch
played tennis with Calvin at 8:00am at Irving Park in Portland Oregon today for those of you tracking my movements.
when you’ve fallen on the highway and you’re lying in the rain and they ask you how you’re doing of course you say you can’t complain
my haters describe me as “enigmatic and powerful” while my friends just say “that’s the homie”
The wars will end and the leaders will shake hands, and that old woman will remain waiting for her martyred son, and that girl will wait for her beloved husband, and the children will wait for their heroic father, I do not know who sold the homeland but I know who paid the price. ― Mahmoud Darwish
there were lots of invitations, and I know you sent me some
bro, you’re being an extremely silly goose right now
"that one didn't count. that was practice." - me, whenever I fuck up or lose
This is Erik-1. Repeat, this is Erik-1 broadcasting on all open channels. If you believe in truth, you must listen to this message: I’ve a small pebis
if the women I’ve dated got together to compare notes they’d probably say I’ve gotten way better at tennis and haven’t gotten any better at emotional availability. but like my serve is super consistent now
was wondering what’s inside my body so I sat down on this weird hard white chair to think about it and then a few minutes later I had the answer. there was poop in there
It’s pure sheesh what they’re doing to me
Played like a demon at doubles. We won and I was very happy with how I played. Does this look infected to you?
*gently stroking my monitor* oh my god what are we doing Verizon Agent
