"I tell ya, I know I'm ugly. I tried giving all my company's data to a Chinese spy, she said she didn't want to ruin the friendship"

Rob Schneider is mad at Dave Chappelle...

Ken Watanabe: Let Them Fight

ALT: Ken Watanabe: Let Them Fight

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Count on Bill Maher to always know exactly how to cater the moment with terrible food

Ella Dawson@brosandprose.bsky.social · 14h ago

just watched the latest episode of Real Time with Bill Maher for @oldmanweldon.bsky.social's podcast and it will shock you that Bill's reaction to the midterms is "I called it" and "I never actually liked Trump"

Average Twitter user if Linda Blair gained 100 pounds: "Have you tried exorcising?"

A redhead who likes Battle Royale

Lupita Nihongo@otsumamiboy.blacksky.app · 16h ago

Who would be the type of spy that brings you down? I don’t think Seduction Spy would get me but I definitely think Affable Local Deli Guy Spy might be able to chip away at me little by little until I give up some goods. Ultimately it all depends on the quality of the sandwiches.

I'm from the South Shore of Massachusetts (southeast, between Boston and Cape Cod). We have a lot of cranberry bogs there. Cranberries suck.

John Moe@johnmoe.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Here I invite you to be a micro-heretic. To bring small shame on your people. Tell me about a highly praised thing in your hometown/area that all locals LOVE except YOU. I’m from the Seattle area. Taco Time is nothing special. Bland. Not horrible but not worth going out of your way. Now you go!

Do you know how many times we’re about to see the phrase “Donald the Lame Duck”?

It says a lot about the state of our politics when we're gushing about how young the newly-elected people are even though Troy Jackson is 58

I know there will be a biopic of trump one day but sadly the 3 most perfect actors that could've played him are all dead: John Candy, Chris Farley, Philip Seymour Hoffman

Today I saw a sign for the failed republican candidate for MA governor with "LOSER" spray-painted on it. The energy really has shifted 😊

Considering the ass-kicking that maga just got at the polls, I take some solace in knowing that DC making religious superhero movies is gonna end in complete disaster

God I love seeing the leopards eat Dave Chappelle's face

Tbh the last week has felt like the end of The Dark Knight: after a long stream of cruelty, the goodness of people wins. (Bale Batman voice) This country just showed me that it's full of people ready to believe in good.

For real this time? Because I heard she lost the other day and got the rug pulled out from under me. But if so, good riddance!

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 21h ago

GOP Rep. Lauren Boebert will lose reelection to Democrat Eileen Laubacher in Colorado, CNN projects www.cnn.com/2026/11/09/p...

DC now stands for "dead cinema"

If it's Blexas and Blississippi, then Susan Collins losing in Maine = Blaine

Micah@rincewind.run · yesterday

early frontrunner for the most satisfying election of 2028, now that we’ve got Blexas and Blississippi and Susan Collins is gone, is the primary campaign to toss Fetterman out on his ass

I became a Big Brother fan in 2016. A few months later, maga came to power. I gave up on Big Brother in 2026. A few months later, maga lost its power. My bad y'all. I should've quit sooner.

Just saw an AI-generated picture of what Russell Brand is gonna look like when he gets out of prison and OOF. (Dubya 9/11 guy whispers in my ear) Sorry, I'm being told that's an actual picture of what he looks like now.

The Democratic party turned on Haley Stevens so hard, we got a blue Kansas. We might have to thank her for her sacrifice.

The legacy media won't tell you this, but this was the mandate from the American people to trump in the midterms

Jim Carrey: Stop Breaking The Law Meme

Alt: Jim Carrey in Liar Liar screaming "Stop breaking the law asshole!" into a phone

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What the fuck is even happening. Motherfuckers out here asking presidents what they think happens when you die.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2d ago

Trump: “In theory I go to heaven. I don’t want to go to hell.”

The Cybertruck is getting canned. Post a vehicle women actually like. My submission: the Herkimer Battle Jitney from Mystery Men

I still haven't come to terms with Argentina's president looking like a band manager from 1978

10 years ago today, the 2016 election happened. Can't believe it took until 5 days ago for a full, seemingly fatal rebuke of him.

The Cubs winning the World Series in 2016 destroyed the timeline. The Brewers winning the World Series in 2026 fixed it.

We got a blue South Carolina before we got GTA6

Keanu Reeves' Iconic Whoa from The Matrix

ALT: Keanu Reeves' Iconic Whoa from The Matrix

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Liberals in the national divorce are asking conservatives "So what are you KEEPING?"

thucksgiving@tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 2d ago

Phil Vischer, the creator of Veggie Tales, weighed in with a "Well, actually, God is a spirit and transcends all gender, this has been theological orthodoxy since forever" and I'm not exaggerating, the Right is ready to gnaw the meat off his bones.

Everyone who has ever said "he tells it like it is" needs to be lobotomized. He doesn't live in reality.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2d ago

DOUTHAT: Your net worth went up by $3 billion TRUMP: So did everyone’s DOUTHAT: My net worth did not go up by $3 billion TRUMP: You should’ve owned stock. I have a lot of money. Far more than I ever thought I’d have

Trump may feel deflated after the midterm elections but his presidency will have a happy ending. by Robert Kraft

I will never forget it! Possibly the best day of the 21st century so far (though I can think of a day in the future that might top it)

Kumail Nanjiani@kumail.bsky.social · 2d ago

Hey guys remember this past Tuesday night? Pretty good.