The day my nephew became and uncle I passed into legend
regular sized ackman
@pleas4nt.bsky.social
You can always find me in the drift
Merry: the closer we are to danger - Pippin: - the farther we are from harm! Treebeard: shut up, just shut the fuck up! You've been talking all day. Nobody wants to hear it. We don't care what you have to say, just stop fucking talking!
Sinon: aw Hades ain't so bad. But there's a shortage of chairs...
The dunk tank clown dunkings won't cease until morale improves
The 2 parts of the deck on either side of the fo'c'sle where you can see the mermaid figurehead's cans are impeccably swabbed, to a mirror finish
Odysseus' men: [untying him from the mast] Odysseus: they were just yelling "if you don't come over here you're gay!" over and over Odysseus' men: diabolical
This ghost ship wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for all the - yeah you know what hearing it out loud nevermind, just forgot I said anything
Starting in 2 days it is likely illegal to display a 🔻 publicly in Canada. Clown country
The thing they don't teach you in school about eating pussy is.. well all of it actually. Gym teacher said that's only for lesbians and commies and he wasn't going to give a passing grade to any of either
Umm okay so there's a bullet in my gun and I don't really know how to get it out so I'm just going to shoot it into the ground. On 3 everybody jump just in case
If you or a loved one spent time at Camp Lejeune there's something you should hear: 'Waterwalker', the feature length documentary by naturalist and canoeist Bill Mason, an ode to the beauty of Lake Superior's headwaters specifically and wilderness generally, is free on NFB
New recruits think that, because our thieves guild is headquartered in the city sewers, you can just poo anywhere. You can't. Please, go a little ways down the tunnel to poo.
Wuma Nian, eight mountain scholar: a man who chases two rabbits catches neither disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
I bet if Zižek got some pussy he would lighten up a bit
To dilly is only human. But to dally? To dally is divine
It was kind of crazy watching that guy's shinbone go jelly-mode if I'm being honest
Guy who has always had jaundice: jaundice is in this year. Big trend
When I die I want my gravestone to just read "ballgazer!"
Live fast and leave a corpse that is of little practical use to a necromancer
Necromancer: but where do your summons come from? Conjurer:
Me: being a rabbit breeder is a... "hare raising" experience! It's alright kids, you can laugh. The anthropomorphic rabbit-men I rear as my sons and teach English and masonry: Father, how tall was the Tower of Babel?
Cutting the Milk Bag with a Steak Knife and 4 others hated your post
Riding a motorcycle really fast so I have an excuse to eat bugs judgment-free
50s greaser guy revealing 3' bong he had rolled up in his t-shirt sleeve
When writing "Tyger, Tyger burning bright" William Blake was confusing tigers with tungsten filaments, a common enough mistake to make but the nevertheless embarrassing
It always broke my heart watching Donkey Kong cast away those perfectly good barrels into the ether. Do you know how much work goes into a barrel