Age yourself with a childhood crush

[Sic] Burns@sicburns2.bsky.social · 12h ago

Age yourself with a childhood crush (In this case how old I feel)

Live streaming your poopies

I hate typos

Normal amount of middle-aged tired today.

It’s Friday so I might see if Bigfoot wants a handjob tonight.

Live streaming my colonoscopy.

I called it.

not Maríe@quaaludescreams.bsky.social · 3d ago

This is going to be televised and it’s sponsored by Anthropic.

I VOTED. YOU SHOULD VOTE TOO. Please vote. I can’t fucking take anymore of this.

Is this what being great again looks like?

Flat tire is fixed.

Things have been great since you left.

I have a flat tire. 🫩

This is going to be televised and it’s sponsored by Anthropic.

Well I hope you’re happy. Just kidding, I hope you’re fucking miserable.

Kiss me like you’re going to eat my tongue.

Do you want to come sleep in here? *opens legs

You know what your problem is?

Making some baked oats like an old lady.

I blame all of this on the windmills.

Iconic vagmaxxing logging in

I call my blowjobs “The Sloppy Bro”

I would eat donuts from a trash can right now.

Don’t rear the reaper FEAR THE HORSE WITH TWO COCKS

Let’s play spin the bottle inside a giant pentagram.

Black market pussy

Crying all day is great for that bloated look.