Robert P. Ottone

@robertottone.bsky.social

Bram Stoker Award-winning author. Bagel enthusiast.

I cannot fathom any reality where I teach for 30 years. I’m literally counting down the remaining 19 years until I can retire. Doing this for 30 (or more) years seems completely fucking insane to me.

I think some of my all-time favorite things I’ve learned this year include: 1) It’s supposedly physically impossible to get an erection in space. 2) Michael Jackson was a crip. 3) Rasputin insulated his house with human hair. You’re welcome.

Just conferenced with a couple of my non-native speakers who are unfortunately failing. I say “failing” because obviously no one really fails, but these are kids I know can do better. I hate having to be bad cop. I just wanna be the weird, funny teacher all the time.

Being a teacher in the modern era basically means giving students every opportunity to learn and then watching them play endless runner bullshit videogames in their chromebooks instead of answering 3 questions about A LONG WALK TO WATER.