Traffic is crazy in my neighborhood when school starts. It’s the same every year, packed with muggles, of course.
Sweet Russ
@russbus38.bsky.social
The internet’s sweetest uncle. Like… Not gay… Just sweet. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hralgjy2sjmhmrt3fdxd4wvt/feed/aaabzdgyhyqi6 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hralgjy2sjmhmrt3fdxd4wvt/feed/aaabz4udd7o5a
Sorry for being so anxious earlier. I didn’t know that everything would be okay.
They say alcohol is never the answer. I say it’s worth a shot.
When someone asks me to go get something out of their purse, I just bring them their whole purse. Idc if you have nothing to hide. Momma ran a strict program and I have successfully been brain washed.
Playing chess near a small body of water = pondering pawns at a pond.
People who say nothing is impossible are wrong. I do nothing all the time
if i want my panties in a twist that’s my business don’t tell me what to do
My favorite quote of my 7yo today- “Be ready to be prepared”
Thinking about how annoying I could be if I had an accordion.
If the hair in your asshole can thrive and grow in a shitty situation, so can you. I believe in you!
As a person with unmedicated depression and anxiety, I’m having one of those rare days where I’m just at peace with existence. I hope you all are too!
Every day I strive for what I call a PB&J. A personal best and a Jizz.
Whoever told John Denver that moonshine tasted “misty” was a liar.
Police: “anything you say will be held against you in a court of law” Me: “tits”
Being the only one who can prevent forest fires is stressing me out.
If she bounces on it, that’s for you. If she grinds on it, that’s for her.
If I were a pokemon. Like a Russachu or some shit. As SOON as I hear “go Russachu!” And get summoned, I’m hitting my so called trainer with a thunder shocker in the B-hole and escaping.
All I know is, I better never catch Chris crossing applesauce again.
If you’re not drinking with me, then I can only assume you’re drinking against me. An act of war!
If whatever entity controlling me in this simulation doesn’t start using some cheat codes, I’m going to lose it.
When you get new shoes as an adult, nobody asks how fast you can run in them. It’s a real problem.
My toxic trait is rolling around in puddles of industrial waste, hoping for super powers.
the j in marijuana might be silent but the j i’m smoking is loud as fuck
I’m going to start handing my kids a d20 and tell them to roll a persuasion check any time they ask for something