Highs of 97, with rain and lightning, and I live in CALIFORNIA. What is happening? I don’t live out east for a reason.

Saw a SIMRDNN license plate today. On a new car. In 2026 Is the world healing?

This country is just three mega-mergers in a trench coat.

Despite all my rage, I’m still

My favorite part of that this is funny for multiple reasons and only about three of you will understand the additional reason this is funny to ME

Bill Shea@billshea19.bsky.social · 4w ago

Lmfao he really got a HBP for this

Happy birthday dad. I fucking Miss you.

@dereksheen.bsky.social, You, Andy Iwanico and Lucy Tollefson put on such a killer show tonight, I’m so glad I finally got to catch you in person! And I should get to catch you again next Friday in Sac again! Highly recommend if anybody else is looking to laugh their asses off next weekend.

@dereksheen.bsky.social what time is tomorrow’s show at the VFW? I’m going from out of town but can’t find info and the line from your website isn’t working and I don’t want to be late (and I’ll likely need to leave work early- so I’m trying to figure out how early) since I’m a couple hours drive

I’m a fucking masterpiece, pin me up against the Goddamn wall

Woke up this morning and vomited so violently and repeatedly I think I might be possessed. And if I am possessed, it could explain why people treat me so poorly. Something should.

10 10 321

Putting the fun in fungal since 1982

Seriously, I have the worlds worst taste in men If I have ever liked you, please work on yourself Eternally single

In a world full of men, don’t

“Baby, what that mouth do?” Hurt your feelings, for SURE, but probably not much else. Move along.

Pull yourself up by your strap-on, or however it goes

Going on a guilt trip, can I get anybody anything?

Don’t you dare be any less, or accept any less, from the universe, than You fucking deserve. I’ll say it again because I need you to hear it. Don’t you dare be any less, or accept any less, from the universe, than You fucking deserve.✨✨✨✨

friendly reminder 👋 if you stand up to go to concessions during an at bat ☝️ you're going to hell 🫵 and your soul is irredeemable 🙏

I’m like garlic. Strong and excellent and wrestling so many fucking layers to get to me I’ll leave my scent on you forever you just try to forget, you just TRY, You fucking can’t, and you’ll crave me forever, I make everything better.

Starting the morning off right with some weighted Bulgarian split squats because even with AC it’s too hot to sleep. I slept on 3 ice packs after an ice bath. I hate summer here.

My ears just popped and everything is so much louder I fear I may have been yelling at everyone all weekend

Unless Matty Healy decides to end his engagement for a plus size baddie in her 40’s or Shoresy stops being fictional, I’m going to need all men to leave me the FUCK alone. Had to watch a friend of mine trip over his own dick over my friend 20 years his junior last week and 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 at all of you

Why can’t I find a man to give me head and not a headache.

Being liked by a bunch of women isn’t really a flex Being really liked or loved by one woman who basically hates all men? You’ve really done something there - best tiktok I’ve seen all day

I need more Jimmi Simpson in my life

Don’t you want to stop the weighted squats and do the treadmill with me? . . . NO My thighs are noise cancelling headphones and I don’t plan on them being anything but maxes.

What mental illness is it when you’re attracted to men?

I am a sunken treasure at the bottom of the sea Dream of me Fantasize And never, ever find me.