If i die tonight it's because I had to listen to my 75 year old mother in law explain to her 84 year old husband how to turn on an oven on to cook a frozen pizza and then set a timer. I heard 'check the digital' one thousand too many times and my head exploded

The only time I have voted for a republican in my entire life was when I voted for Dennis Richardson over Read for Secretary of State. I was right then and I've been right since. Guys a worm.

Kevin Foster@kevinhfoster.bsky.social · 2d ago

OR Secretary of State Tobias Read has now refused to investigate nine election complaints in cases that are damaging to DSA candidates. Noemi Legaspi lied in the voter pamphlet about her opponent Lesly Muñoz hiring a convicted felon. Insane. Then there’s Chief Day’s statements about Mitch Green:

They are planning on closing Woodmere, where they just spent millions of dollars to redo the roof and HVAC, so they can stuff those students into a similarly sized building in a worse location. If this isn't a play at hurting the union it's mismanagement on the immediate recall level

Tim Dickinson@timdickinson.bsky.social · 3d ago

For Portland parents following the extraordinary plan to close 14 schools, the district doesn't seem to have done some very basic homework. A lot of this is being done in the name of cost savings, but the district hasn't released any projections on that front.

This is honestly surreal. We are 5 Portland donors away from the 750 Portland donors needed to unlock another $100,000 in matching funds from the city. We have completely maxed out tier 1 so we won’t receive more matching funds until we meet the 750 threshold. Can you donate $5 at the link below?

Donate to Jeremy Beausoleil Smith

Show your support with a contribution.

secure.actblue.com

Toms a liar and not a particularly good one

Sean Highkin@highkin.bsky.social · 4d ago

Blazers season ticket holders just got this email, which is attributed to Tom Dundon.

Cora was widely rumored to be a mariners target so I'm happy to hear he's out of the running mostly because I would have called him Joey every time

Michael Baumann@baumann.bsky.social · 4d ago

I should probably get my crying Alex Cora gif off my old laptop anyway

My mom: "so... the don't rank Torres chalk on the sidewalks... Do we like it or do we water it?" Me: "no mom, we like the chalk, Torres is paid for by oil and real estate. We don't want to rank her" Mom: "okay, I'll protect it, if you know them, tell them I have more chalk in the basement"

Everyone who does the chop should have that hand amputated without anesthesia.

You can take the Edwin Diaz out of the Mariners but you can't take the mariners out of Edwin Diaz

I was curious about Yamamoto's career high in pitches and that's how I learned he somehow never pitched in either Koshien.

I hate that Yamamoto pitches for the Dodgers because he's incredibly fun to watch

Most of these are pretty normal, anybody could look at my purchase history and tell you I like Japanese baseball and sci-fi books. I do question the category 'has a cock that would make Michaelangelo weep with joy' and why my purchase of a moon cake press puts me in it

Hypervisible @hypervisible.blacksky.app · 5d ago

Launched in May, “the page uses data from customers’ activity to generate details about them in categories like Product Preferences, Interests & Hobbies, and Home & Family, which Amazon then uses to personalize users’ product experiences.”

Having to repeatedly reference ground rules whips ass actually

Holy shit.

On Saturday, 60 servings of Global Warming's Chili Cheese Tater Tot casserole went out to our unhoused neighbors! (this cook was not expecting 80° in October) We rely on donations to feed people Venmo- pdxfeedthestreets Cashapp- FTSPortland #MutualAid #PDX #MutualAidPdx

I'm not gonna directly dunk on the guy because I think he means well but at lunch yesterday my mom told me about her attempts to engage in good faith with one of my dad's dumb maga cousins that only got her name calling from the cousin and ended with the cousin saying 'well your kids an f-slur' So

Like, the three things everybody knows about the pope is: He's Catholic Funny hat We all watch a chimney while they pick a new one

Ok 'nobody elected you' is, I think, the funniest possible thing you can say to the pope.

Bugs, Yaoist@bugsmaytrix.bsky.social · last wk.

asking the pope "how many local models do you run" and still thinking i'm going to see the pearly gates

When a rich guy has lost jq you know it's bad www.nytimes.com/athletic/765...

Blazers are again buried in avoidable drama. Can Tom Dundon just let us off this ride?

nytimes.com

A competently run organization finds these tweets weeks ago and never makes the offer. Too bad that's not what el cheapo does.

The Oregonian@oregonian.com · last wk.

In a stunning turn of events, the team abruptly fired its new play-by-play commentator after a series of troubling, years-old tweets from him came to light. https://mrf.lu/20XxM

Calling this nonsense Word Salad is unfair to salad because at least a salad is composed. This is the language equivalent of your cat taking a shit on the floor because it's mad at you.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.

I recommend people read this to get a sense of the president's grave cognitive impairment. Trump is either unwilling or unable (or maybe both) to answer the questions he's actually asked, so he just rants and raves while the interviewers do their best to provide structure to his random brain firings

I really need to stop thinking about Tony and where he could be and who he is with and if he is thinking of me

The only time the state should kill someone is in case of treason and when we didn't do that on January 7th it should have stopped every pending case everywhere.

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin' Crazy wack funky People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty That's all right 'cause my body's in motion It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w ago

Trump is standing like no human has ever stood before

i love that the wannabe tough guys who feel free to opine at length about the left causing a crisis of masculinity are revealed to be 'uh, is there a sporpsball game on' dweebs the second a single amount of ball knowing is required.

Marisa Kabas@marisakabas.bsky.social · 2w ago

renaissance painting when the renaissance is really fucking stupid

So the choice to replace the legendary Kevin Calabro is either a former member of the second worst broadcast team in the NBA or a recent college graduate who has only called a season of G league? This shit is fucking embarrassing.

At roughly the 45 second mark the blue haired pita guy sort of quotes Sartre, one idiot says 'wait did he say that?' and then a different idiot says 'i always hated that guy' and I'm very curious who they think Sartre is

Seth Simons@sasimons.bsky.social · 2w ago

here is Duncan Trussell warning the comedians working at the Onion/Infowars that they are traitors who might get put to the guillotine

Showing my wife that rahm Emanuel article and subtly implying we're gonna have to get extra freaky today