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Stephen Collins

@stephencollins.bsky.social

Illustrator & cartoonist | Guardian & Prospect (full scripts in alt text) | graphic novels | children’s books | WFC | My stuff: https://linktr.ee/stephencollinsart

1448 Posts22067 Follower472 Folgt
Rick Burin@rickburin.bsky.social · 2w ago

What Burnham has done cleverly in his first two days is announce two good things, rather than declaring in a rose garden that everything is going to be awful and then pledging to mug pensioners

Stephen Collins@stephencollins.bsky.social · 3w ago

Is it possible to die of football punditry? Like, you actually consume so much that you turn into a kind of ultra-banterous encysted rat king of Neville, Mccoist, Rudd, their faces all moving across your pulsing flanks, and then you just explode in a shower of pus and sponsor ads

Stephen Collins@stephencollins.bsky.social · 4w ago

I, a human, wrote and drew this cartoon with my human body and sent it to human art printers who printed it with their human hands and you a human (?) can now buy a ltd edition print of it in my shop! Link in bio

[Scene is a kitchen, a person is boiling some peas on the hob] 1 PERSON 1: Oh dear! PERSON 2: What is it babe? 2 PERSON 1: I am so overwhelmed with cooking these peas... PERSON 2: You mean you’re not using AI peas? 3 PERSON 1: AI peas? PERSON 2: They’re peas with AI! 4 PERSON 2: AI powered peas harness the potential of your peas PERSON 1: What 5 PERSON 2 [Now in voice-over as hi tech meaningless graphics play]: Taking your peas to the next level with new AI features powering your peas 6 PERSON 2 [V/O over increasingly ridiculous graphics]: Each pea has AI in a way we haven’t quite worked out yet but it’s fine 7 PERSON 2: Putting AI to work for your peas and connecting every corner of your peas PERSON 1: Peas don’t have corners PERSON 2: It does not matter! 8 PERSON 2: Our game-changing PEA-AI gives you the freedom to get the peas done 9 PERSON 2: From opening the bag of peas to boiling the peas to eating the peas 10 PERSON 2: to spending millions on adding AI to the peas and then having to work out what that means 11 PERSON 1: Is it necessary to - PERSON 2 [grabbing her buy the cardigan]: THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET 12 [Advert ending image showing the product, a bag of peas, with its slogan] PEA-I AI PEAS WITH AI Just ‘peas’ for God’s sake buy the AI peas [Ends]
Stephen Collins@stephencollins.bsky.social · 4w ago

I had a new limited edition print of my Henry VIII biopic comic made. Limited to 50 copies, archival quality giclee print on heavy art paper. Well I mean heavy by the standards of paper, it's only paper so it's not like, literally heavy. There's a link to my shop in my bio!

Print of a comic strip by Stephen Collins, originally in the Guardian. Script for the comic is as follows: [Scene is the Tudor royal court. ladies and gentlemen standing round. In the corner a very fat HENRY VIII is hunched over playing a lute.] 1 LADY: Hey Anne Boleyn - Who’s that lute player? ANNE BOLEYN: I dunno [Determined face] But I’m gonna find out. [Title lettering panel]: THIS SUMMER [Scene is now two musicians - one with a harp, the other is Henry VIII again playing the lute] HARPIST: Yo Henry VIII - Who wrote that sick lute riff yo’ jamming? HENRY VIII: Why... [Looking around, modest, surprised at the attention] I did…! [Title lettering panel]: SEE THE STORY [Scene is now a tudor record producer with ruff and wearing dark sunglasses]: PRODUCER: Congratulations Henry Your lute thing is a hit and your story is now one of uncomplicated musical success! [Show a panel with lots of Beatlemania-style scenes of success for Henry the musician - swooning tudor girls, playing lute on stage, waving to fans as he descends from his golden carriage. In the middle of it in Tudor lettering are the words]: “UNCOMPLICATED MUSICAL SUCCESS MONTAGE”. [Another scene - a man is saying to Henry]: MAN: Say Henry VIII - Are you doing anything outside this narrative that is very bad or weird? HENRY VIII: No. [Title lettering panel]: …OF A MUSICAL GENIUS who definitely didn’t do anything outside this narrative that was very bad or weird [Scene with Thomas Cromwell] THOMAS CROMWELL: Hang on Henry aren't you also a - HENRY VIII [jumping in front of him with his lute held aloft]: LUTE SOLO! [Final film title panel]: HENRY VIII: Rock Biopic [rated U] [Ends]
Stephen Collins@stephencollins.bsky.social · last mo.

It's been months now but my mind keeps returning to that guy who wasn't Chappell Roan's bodyguard but he wanted to be so he shouted at a little girl in the vicinity of Chappell Roan. Manifestation king, freelance dreamer