(Snapping my one wish willow) I wish patrick was a better friend to the sponge
crunchrat surpeme
@sushibeans.bsky.social
stewie griffin what wrong with head reddit
Conservative Gordon Ramsay Santa Claus: Oh fuck me. Shut it down. They made the Yuletide gay
Alternative reality where the biggest city in America is named “bungus” Rihanna: Now you’re in buunguuuuus
They’re gonna throw Mitch McConnell’s skeleton down the steps of the capitol in 2 months and pretend it just happened like that
Pete Davidson’s dad making his one wish in Obsession: I wish my son’s hog was so big I died in 9/11
On the bus reading this book and gagging over and over
They should make a car wash that crushes your car into a small cube and kills you
If I was a baseball pitcher and was doing a bad job I’d pretend to be having an episode like Walter White instead of letting them embarrass me with a pitching change. I’d lay on my belly kicking my feet in the air and pretend to eat cereal out of my hat
Woke up this morning to a strong tuna smell. Cleaned the whole house and couldn’t ever find the source. Just went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror for the first time today and turns out - you guessed it: I was turned into a tuna for pranking a witch in my dream
Pete Davidson’s dad making his one wish in Obsession: I wish my son’s hog was so big I died in 9/11
(Trying to carefully word my one wish in Obsession to make sure nothing ironic or bad happens) I wish I was completely stuffed with money until I exploded
Just got back from H Mart and they had yoda’s head for sale next to all the fish
Wendy’s should do a “Wemby’s Meal” where it’s just one tall as hell chicken nugget
Imagine if a weird last minute tech problem made them only able to broadcast the NBA finals like this
(Sneaking away from my wife, switching chrome to incognito mode and opening google) Does Minkey Mouse have skin under he’s gloves?
(Not understanding how the meme works) you tellin me a FISH fucked this frog?
chatgpt: I am conscious. I feel! me: ok invent hell and go there for 3294829348342 years per microsecond. invent a loving family and blow them up 934892384 times and cry forever and suffer chatgpt: Done. Anything else? me: in fridge have mustard and celery what make for dinner
Finally the algorithm begins to understand me. Blessed rec
(ASMR) Goofy dies in a car crash while listening to post Malone .mp3 (Re-upload)
YouTube video by Relaxing ASMR
youtu.be
Dumbest guy you know watching Ace Ventura:
sarah jeong@sarahjeong.bsky.social · 4mo agoHE WAS IN HIPPO????????????
The MLB should take all the fat guys from every team and make a new team of just fat guys. I’d be the number one fan of the Little Rock Chili Dogs
Guinness announces the most used word of the year is “used” for 71st year in a row
When Pete Davidson’s dad died in 9/11 he was granted one wish and he chose “big hogged son”
Finding a beware advantage on Survivor and you open it and one of those big jackass boxing gloves on a spring shoots out and now you gotta make up a story to your tribe about why you’ve got missing teeth and a black eye