@plutokiller.com please tell me you’re watching this rocket make a splash landing on the moon with one of your fancy telescopes?
Chris Porter
@thechrisporter.bsky.social
Baby Daddy. Boo. Teacher. Taylor Swift crashed Christmas. Habitual Line Stepper. Retired party aficionado. PA Announcer. #GeauxTigers I spread sunshine & chaos.
Imagine being the victim of the most notorious sex trafficking ring in our country’s history as your abusers rise to the highest gov’t positions possible where the redact the names of said abusers, publish yours, then send their supporters after you. Fuck This Shit.
Someone on TikTok called a snunk a “fart kitten” and I don’t think I’ll ever call them anything else.
The #WorldCup has made me realize that America really is the greatest country in the world. Pretty much anybody on earth can visit America & find pockets of their culture somewhere. We only hate each other because we’ve listened to people in power tell us they’re bad.
I always find it funny when people say "this era will be judged harshly in history books". Like, if we've learned anything from recent world events, it's that nobody reads history books.
You can’t convince me that hoarders aren’t just ADHDers who gave up
If Trump was smart he woulda painted the reflecting pool green. His followers woulda bought his reasoning for it & when the algae came back they wouldn’t notice and they would believe he fixed it.
Boomers giving future generations a roadmap for protest only to end up the destination of that said roadmap is peak Americana.
What makes someone decide to become a proctologist? I’ve never heard any kid say they wanted to be a proctologist when they grew up. What compels someone to inspect strangers’ buttholes all day?
For America's Bicentennial in 1976, the following acts played: The Eagles Fleetwood Mac Loggins & Messina Dan Fogelberg Elton John The Beach Boys America Elvis Presley Peter Frampton Aerosmith Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Jeff Beck ZZ Top Lynyrd Skynyrd Black Oak Arkansas Bruce Springsteen
Happy 93rd birthday to Willie Nelson! Clip from Outlaws and Angels, Live at the Wiltern Theater, 2004.
Ex Deputy National Security Advisor for Strategic Communications and Speechwriting under Obama👇🏽
There is only one you! No one else carries your story, your strength, your light! Remember how powerful you are! How deeply you are loved! How worthy you’ve always been! The right people won’t ask you to dim your light. They’ll recognize it, respect it, and stand beside it! #SheShed
A drunk former fox news host refused to promote two Black and two female officers because a convicted felon and 5x draft dodger does not want to stand next to a Black woman at military events. Think about that for a second.
I’m not gonna say life if perfect, but this is where I get to coach JH Baseball.
The richest Americans saw their net worth soar 120% from 2017 to 2025. The top 1% now control $55.8 trillion in assets — more than the G.D.P. of the United States and China combined. Meanwhile, millions of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. Still wondering if inequality is out of control?
Can we normalize not standing in the fucking way in public spaces?
They really worried about every other country but ours
I’m 45 years old & I still love the Book fair. Thankfully my wife is the librarian.
I think the worst thing about the bullshit ass claims made by idiots is there are enough people who believe them & it forces people to actually defend it.
Me: “Ok so here are a few things to consider when answering the constitutional stucture questions, we will talk more about these in more detail tomorrow.” Student: “What’s checks & balances?” Me:
“Are you a communist?" "No I am an anti-fascist" "For a long time?" "Since I have understood fascism.” ― Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls
In my lifetime I’ve used the following references for time. 1. Before/After Internet 2. Before/After 9/11 3. Before/After Covid