Xolotl

@traposs.bsky.social

(*ゝω・)ノ ä𝖇𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖎𝖑 <𝖙𝖍𝖊y/𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒/𝖍𝖊𝖗> NSFW Ⓐ//Ⓔ 𝖒𝖞 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖇𝖔𝖝 °•𝖙𝖍𝖚𝖒𝖇 𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖑𝖎𝖓 °•𝖇𝖔𝖜 𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖑𝖎𝖓 𝖇ü𝖌.

Where'd the line blur that I pressured myself to keep up with bug names. all i want is to creat what my brain dreams you andlete it simply exist outside of me for the sake of existing without expectations to "do well" or impress. Gotta remember being relevant has never been my drive &that's ok

Bike riding reading explorin and making art that isn't specifically for my band or to fund shows. When did I forget that I neverr want to meet these stupid standards if being relevant and participating in this weird commercialization of the music I enjoy

Though the work I focused on to highlight non white musicians is needed and important AF. I genuinely believe in it/would give it my small amount of energy anyway, it's been so good coming to terms with opting out completely and just doing things I feel I never made real time for

I'm like not over throwing and hosting shows but I am so burnt out from it it's been an anxiety ride feeling like j out pressure on myself to have a deadline on when I'd be ready to jump back in

Me: hey can you please stop calling the police over arbitrary shit we can work out civilly over a conversation Them: this brown woman playing music on our shared porch at 3pm is harassing me with violence arrest her officers The cops: I'm sorry they keep calling us you don't deserve this Me: 🫴🏽

what never ceases to amaze me is the same people who call me violent aggressive and call the police are the same white #queer people in my local rapid response anti ice group posting "whatever shall we do we must protect them" as they make it completely unsafe for my immigrant relative to exist.

6 months later I am back , my partner beat cancer, my dog now has cancer, I'm broke as shit, and the disdain I have for the armchair activism around me is gigantic. ✨wow I'm More #depressed than ever✨