Bootsy Boots McBoots
@weirdmiddlechild.bsky.social
Hang on.. my m&m's are sending me mixed messages
You mean to tell me we're on a whole different month? When did that happen!?
Until you people tell me, I don't know what day it is
My method for preserving pandas involves polar bears and black paint.
I thought i needed to rest to get rid of my migraine, but oh no.. dr. cat decided what i really needed was his huge furry ass on my head
I could never be batman, for soo many reasons
Please look at your phone when I’m talking to you 👀
Sorry about my posts. or you're welcome. Depending.
Maybe that should have been an 'inside my head only' thought
Business idea: A service that texts you entire novels, one message at a time. To make sure you’re still reading, you have to reply to every text. It’s called “And Then What Happened?”
It's Monday and ew.. my monochromes are touching
What do you do with bones of your hotdogs when you filet them?
We have sliders. Why don't we have lil mini hotdogs?
I want chicken nuggets shaped like tiny hamburgers
holding your hand while you sleep so it doesn’t detach from your body and scamper about making mischief
A velociraptor ate my ass and all I got was this cool t-shirt
The feminine urge to walk straight into the wild fires and burn to death
If you're ever hiking in the woods and get lost, just look up and find the brightest star in the sky and you'll know which way space is.
You know what they say.. you're born alone, you die alone, and in-between is silence interspersed with random vocalizations
Eat lightning.. Better than pop rocks, they say
Alright, so I asked google "how you protect vagina splinters magic wicker man sex" and it wasn't helpful at all youtu.be/HP0BWBWn14I?...
WICKER | Official Trailer | Only In Theaters October
YouTube video by Black Bear
youtu.be
Remember, your phone's cameras are its eyes. Look into them to show respect. And poke them out to punish
Idea: crossbreed a cat with an octopus for maximum slap-pacity