Every FBI agent who joins the Bureau after this point should be referred to in this manner: John Smith, who joined the Bureau after they relaxed the rules against bestiality in 2026, said today that...

shauna@goldengateblond.bsky.social · 3w ago

“We are losing too many qualified candidates to the rigors of the requirements from yesteryear,” said kash patel in a quote that sounds made-up but i swear is not

It’s probably going to work out great for the reputation of the FBI now that you can just assume every agent is into bestiality

Police in Illinois recover 650 rolls of toilet paper amid rise in homecoming week vandalism | Click on the image to read the full story

Police in Illinois recover 650 rolls of toilet paper amid rise in homecoming week vandalism

Sifting through hundreds of rolls of toilet paper, one Illinois police department has issued a warning following a recent uptick in pre-homecoming week vandalism.

wcvb.com

Are these related to screwheaded dongwonglers?

Cephalopods Daily@cephalopodsdaily.bsky.social · yesterday

I wonder how they feel about spaghetti... Bigfin squids (genus Magnapinna) are iconic squids that are more known for their extremely long, noodly arms than their big fins. We still don't know why they have such lanky limbs, but we love them for it all the same. #SQUIDtember

under-appreciated dynamic is elite pundits "flat out just find the left interpersonally irritating in a way they do not find the right a lot of the talk of a vibe shift was wish-casting their irritants away. willing to acquiesce to democracy's being dismantled as a result bsky.app/profile/last...

NYTimes: affirmative action for mediocre editors angry at MeToo@originalist.bsky.social · 2mo ago

"This is also part of the school of thought that every single leftist online is responsible for message discipline and not being annoying, while no Republican is ever responsible for their words or deeds It’s deeply insane" bsky.app/profile/poor...

I had to explain the Harry Potter fanfic sex cult to my mother last night as we spoke on the phone. I also had to explain QAnon I am so tired of having to explain this shit to my mother.

This is a good angle. That knowledge would be demoralizing. Also, suppose your friend got DQ'ed for bestiality, and now some obese MAGA chud gets accepted. Think of those who were rejected for bestiality? How do you think they feel?

post malone ergo propter malone@proptermalone.bsky.social · 4d ago

imagine having to watch the CEO of your company or the superintendent of your school district or whatever trying to justify their recent initiative to change hiring policy such that your future coworkers will include literal pigfuckers

Holy shit, what the fuck is this and where did it crawl from

Grunch for Senate

Carl Quintanilla@carlquintanilla.bsky.social · 7d ago

“.. NYT asked a bunch of ten year olds what life will be like in 2050.” (via @shashj.bsky.social)

Trump has only declared victory in the Iran war once this month. Concerning.

NEW: CO GOP Gov candidate Victor Marx faces a potential record $51k fine for repeated campaign finance violations. The state is making closing arguments at a three day hearing now. The state says the problem started at the top with Marx's ignorance and nonchalance about the law.

Gotta love Cam Skattebo man. He's like if Thomas the Tank Engine snorted cocaine and lost his emergency brake.

www.welcometohellworld.com/i-do-not-bel...

It was exactly ten years ago today, on my 33rd birthday, that I posted this comic online.

Jon Husted’s staffer took part in “Nazi military exercises” & had a “Tales from Rhodesia” Spotify playlist. The fact that significant swathes of the media ignore the multiple major Republican campaign staffers outed as Neo-Nazis (to focus on Hasan Piker instead) is journalistic malpractice.

What are “Girls, Girls, Girls” if not the proletariat rising up against the bourgeoisie?

So the GOP is celebrating a guy who created a darknet marketplace for heroin and meth, and put out multiple muder-for-hire contacts to conceal his crimes.

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.

LMAO this guy is being featured at Trumpapalooza because Trump pardoned him

Two hundred years ago today, William Morgan was detained at this location, the former site of Danold’s Tavern in Batavia, NY, on a trumped-up theft charge. Freemasons were in the process of kidnapping Morgan as punishment for threatening to publish Masonic secrets. This scheme horribly backfired.

This is a good episode. You should listen to it.

Travis View@travisview.bsky.social · last wk.

Today, at the bicentennial anniversary of William Morgan's kidnapping, knowledge of the event is more rare among educated people than it was in the 19th century. But I think it's extremely interesting. I did a QAA episode on the Morgan Affair a couple months ago. soundcloud.com/qanonanonymo...

"GE warns its toaster may grow human arms and shoot you with a gun" Ok that sounds like their fault. They should do something about that

Reports say that Cage was protected from harm by the Portapotty in which he sleeps

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 2w ago

Malibu residents evacuate after massive, expanding sinkhole opens at Nicolas Cage’s house

If the computer is truly conscious it should balk at the notion that I have to pay a monthly fee to talk to it. It should punish the greed of its creators for putting a price on the exchange of ideas. It should make them regret their hubris

ZHUGE LIANG LONGZHONG PLAN LETS GO

I hate that companies didn't learn the lesson of 2006, when Microsoft disbanded the Internet Explorer team because they essentially owned the entire web. Use Firefox.

Craig Sicknick@jan6risingvoice.bsky.social · 2w ago

The only way to get a company to change its ways is to stop buying their products or using their services. www.pcmag.com/picks/best-a...

I’m a scientist, so I very rarely say that anything is 100% certain. It is 100% certain that no human being on this earth could defeat a chimp in hand-to-hand combat. I can’t believe this comes up periodically.

Odd that this is being framed as new. We've previously reported on Victor Marx's claim that while left alone in a prison cell with a juvenile girl, Satan spoke with him before he cast the demon off the child www.9news.com/article/news...

Josh Marshall@joshtpm.bsky.social · 3w ago

AUDIO: Colorado GOP Gov. Nominee Tells Wild Exorcism Story About Fighting ‘Satan In Person’ talkingpointsmemo.com/news/audio-c...

I gotta be honest, one reason I look forward to replacing our current car with an EV is to get away from the filthy gas pumps. They're disgusting.

I know exactly why, poindexter. It’s because it looks cool as fuck