swerving across four lanes of traffic to get a photo of a car with the vanity plate “BOFA”
Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA
@buckyisotope.bsky.social
Hell, I love everybody https://soundcloud.com/bucky-isotope
Jeanine Pirro should absolutely be fired for *checks notes* following the law? *looks off camera* That can’t be right *holds finger to earpiece* I’m being told this is correct
Anyone else just get away with slashing a 300 foot gash down the middle of the reflecting pool on the Washington Mall?
ME: we’re cooked MY WIFE: that’s not what that means ME: *setting meatloaf on the table* cooked
Beef Wellington is just a fancy corn dog, don’t argue with me
This is exactly what a dead person would say
In every person there are two separate but equal wolves. One who investigates crime and one who prosecutes the offenders. These are their stories.
I'm in a weird place right now (my neighbor's grain silo)
Wile E. Coyote, despaired, takes a bucket of paint and a brush and paints a beautiful two-bedroom house on a mountainside. He paints a beautiful coyote wife in the window, and two adorable coyote kids running around in the yard. He tries to enter this new coyote life, but it is inaccessible to him
A man walks into a horse bar. Why the short face, asks the horse bartender. The man begins crying. He is the last human left on horse world.
ME: let’s use the ouija board we got for Christmas to contact grandpa’s ghost FAMILY: ok ME: Grandpa, if you can hear me, bring us some updog OUIJA BOARD: W-H-A-T-I-S- ME: *starts shaking* this is the greatest day of my life
Sometimes I wonder what Dinosaur Sr. thinks about his son being in a rock band
Why are there a million songs about sad breakups but only one about being down with the sickness
*friend looks at phone* Dang, my phone is dying *I grab him by the shirt and pull him in close* We’re all dying, Gary. We’re all dying
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in Liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal ME: What about Gary LINCOLN: well obviously not Gary CROWD: *chanting* FUCK GARY FUCK GARY
The Odyssey? We talking about me driving my Honda minivan around town to pick up the boys for a night of Frozen Redbull Watermelon Rita’s at Top Golf?
I work in cybersecurity so I have no doubt there are vulnerabilities in electronic voting machines (and everything else with a chip for that matter). I might even believe there was data exfiltration by a nation state hacker group. But it’s a big leap from “vulnerability” to actual voter fraud
JUDGE: how do you plead ME: *making air quotes* not guilty JUDGE: why did you do air quotes ME: *whispering* because I’m guilty
Heading to Mitch McConnell’s hospital right now
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Bring Out Your Dead
ALT: Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Bring Out Your Dead
static.klipy.com
I’ve just been informed that Lindsay Graham died from being shot by a Russian sniper after he was poisoned by Iran and programmed to self destruct by North Korea while shitting himself to death from the diarrhea parasite
No statement from Mitch McConnell on the sudden passing of his senate colleague? So much for decorum
I’m saddened to announce the passing of my work colleague, The Zodiac Killer. While we were often on opposing sides of the business, I always enjoyed his silly little scavenger hunts.
You know there aren’t a lot of people i would wish dead, but I’ll make an exception for Lindsay Graham and Mitch McConnell and- *checks list* Oh my that’s a lot of people
At least Lindsay Graham outlived his good friend Mitch McConnell
If four dads are ever in the same room together they spontaneously form into a bowling team
There is no fucking way Grimace could dunk a basketball
