"Putting your hope in the finance minister and his budget to change the material circumstances of your life is sort of like reciting your Christmas wishlist to a teenage shopping centre Santa with a ponytail and an earring. You know that this guy isn't going to do anything for you." Surrealing:

We have moved past the need for Budget Day

The budget is basically a shopping centre Santa for grown-ups.

thejournal.ie

"Putting your hope in the finance minister and his budget to change the material circumstances of your life is sort of like reciting your Christmas wishlist to a teenage shopping centre Santa with a ponytail and an earring. You know that this guy isn't going to do anything for you." Surrealing:

We have moved past the need for Budget Day

The budget is basically a shopping centre Santa for grown-ups.

thejournal.ie

This week's Hear Me Out... Comfort yourself by discovering what the people who bring you your news believe about aliens and UFOs :)

Hear Me Out: Are UAPs (UFOs) real?

Are aliens real? And if they are, why don’t they want to hang out with us?

thejournal.ie

The Journal has launched a subscription service - here's why you should join jrnl.ie/7171810

The Journal has launched a subscription service - here's why you should join

We’ve been busy, and we want you to access everything we have to offer, no interruptions, no limit.

jrnl.ie

you know when the idea for a tweet comes to you nine years too late? like my brain, unbidden, just produced the thought “an indecisive Irish judge called Ruth B’fhéidir Ginsberg”. or maybe I did tweet it at the time. nothing matters anyway.

Surrealing in the Years: You Should Probably Arm Yourself At Some Point

A six-month trial of live facial recognition technology in London’s railway stations cost more than £320,000 and almost 100 hours of police officers’ time. It ended in one false match against a watchlist of suspects and no arrests. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Trial of live facial recognition in London stations ends with no arrests

Freedom of information request finds six-month trial cost £320,000, used almost 100 police hours and led to just one – false – alert

theguardian.com

“Show This to Anyone Denying Genocide” — front page of @scotnational.bsky.social

This is why, every year, the whole of Ireland is required to celebrate the Puck Fair. We can’t just say that hauling a goat into the air for days on end is something just for Kerry. We are a united country, which is why we have airborne goats everywhere.

Virgin Media News@virginmedianews.bsky.social · 2w ago

🗣️ “When you become a united Ireland, you can’t just become partitionist and say, well, they can celebrate that up north but not in the rest of the country.” The #MondayGR panel discussed the Garvaghy Road dispute and how Orange Order marches could be dealt with in a potential united Ireland.

This evening's Hear Me Out has some very very nice takes, I must say.

Are U2 still cool? Were they ever?

‘Maybe being massively popular while everyone insists you’re uncool is actually the most Irish kind of success.’

thejournal.ie

You have to cook the question this much and it's still plurality in favor of the triple lock. C'mon lads, pack it in

@carlkinsella.bsky.social Is our frontline correspondent reporting live from the decade-long war on Christmas. How fares the trenches, Carl? And our troops' morale? www.thejournal.ie/readme/surre...

Dublin City Council not at war with Christmas, but with basic organisation and communication

Which is worse, by the way.

thejournal.ie

“Keeping the winter lights on until February gives the impression that the council is out of ideas for how to make Dublin nice all year round… Sort of like how you need to make your Roses last into the post-Christmas season even as shrinkflation withers your Strawberry Dreams away into nothingness.”

Dublin City Council not at war with Christmas, but with basic organisation and communication

Which is worse, by the way.

jrnl.ie

just sucked something through a plastic straw for the first time in god knows how long and let me tell you, we’ve all forgotten just how good it feels

haha fucking hell after all that

If the Irish team or indeed any players really do refuse to play this match they would be heroes on an international scale

“Keeping the winter lights on until February gives the impression that the council is out of ideas for how to make Dublin nice all year round… Sort of like how you need to make your Roses last into the post-Christmas season even as shrinkflation withers your Strawberry Dreams away into nothingness.”

Dublin City Council not at war with Christmas, but with basic organisation and communication

Which is worse, by the way.

jrnl.ie

I’m not being funny but the people who call for a United Ireland flag to make some concession to unionists… what do you think the big huge fucking orange bit on the current flag is for

The youngest person his pager attack killed was 9-year-old Fatima Abdullah, who had just started 4th grade. The pager was on a table when it went off and she picked it up to take to her dad. It exploded in her face and reports said it covered the room in her blood. She wanted to learn English.

Eli Valley@elivalley.bsky.social · 2w ago

Boasting to the world of his mass terrorist atrocity:

"You know how on The Traitors you might get someone on there who lies about their job in the real world? That’s sort of how it feels when Michael Gove acts as the prime minister." Wrote a review of Sky's The Wargame, which features Gove, Sturgeon and more playing D&D only it's war with Russia.

Did you know they've made a TV series where real politicians pretend Russia is bombing the UK?

Starring high-profile politicians, The Wargame turns invasion by Russia into reality TV. But… why?

thejournal.ie

how's it going man i heard your dog thing went out of business. i read that in the newspaper

I love this guy at the end of the Lord of the Rings with a huge pumpkin who’s like you’re think the only one who’s been busy

Samwise: Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I was to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her. Frodo: that was never on the cards man

he didn’t have to do it like that

The greatest thread in middle earth forum history

Shaving a hobbit's foot is an act of extreme violence

actually the hair on hobbits feet is a complicated sensory organ

Carl Kinsella@carlkinsella.bsky.social · 3w ago

I’m sorry you can’t actually tell me that the hobbits wouldn’t have benefited from shoes

I’m sorry you can’t actually tell me that the hobbits wouldn’t have benefited from shoes

I never ever drink coffee so a fun thing about my life is that on the biannual occasions that I do drink coffee I spend the next six hours feeling like I’m about to die. About three hours left to go.

if you forgot drying off was a possibility getting wet would be so scary