Chris Spann

@chris-spann.co.uk

Technical SEO, technology ephemera, ruining the internet. Talk to me about RSS. Never knowingly underengineered a solution to a problem.

Me: Okay, there's been a thunderstorm, the heatwave should be over now. (New health bar appears) (The sun is now named 'Sol, Starflame of Regret') (Objectively the greatest piece of classical music ever recorded starts playing).

Owning a phone in 2026: I have to accept an invite to my daughter's class group on the app school uses. Except I can't, because the upsell popup that tried to sell me the premium version(!!!) renders the close button underneath the status bar on my phone, so I can't press ut

The 2010s retail crisis had a name: Showrooming. Customers used physical stores to inspect products, then bought cheaper online. The store absorbed the cost of the experience. Amazon collected the conversion. The 2026 version is playing out on your website with generative search.

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Hey! Doing a mad deal on the SEO Monitoring tool I released the other day - sign up now and get ten quid off the big boy package forever. - Monitor 50 URLs a day - Notifications if they break - Retain html for 180 days. For NINETEEN BRITISH POUNDS A MONTH Go to coffeepot.app and click "Get Venti"

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Reform have now lost six by-elections in a row in England, Scotland and Wales. Their national poll rating is 26% – below Labour in 1983 – and Farage’s approval rating is -37. They’re very far from the voice of the people and need to stop being treated as such.