Just received the best diagnosis I’ve ever gotten from a therapist: “I think you could have had a really great love with the author of Wuthering Heights.”

We finally have a worse response to "Are you insecure about your _____________?" than "First of all, I'm taller than you."

Dan of the Year@downwithdan.bsky.social · 2d ago

He will never understand that being "the fat guy from Superbad" is infinitely better than being "the martial arts chud nobody likes"

Five minutes later in the serial killer group text: "I think he bought it."

Lukács Doncic@weirdalf.bsky.social · 2d ago

Weird text from a random today

Everyone talks about how "Let It Go" is "Defying Gravity", but no one talks about how "For the First Time in Forever" is "The Wizard And I".

Josh Spiegel@mousterpiece.bsky.social · 3d ago

It’s time for a new vote in the second round of the Ultimate Walt Disney Animation Studios Songs bracket! Today, an old-fashioned love song goes up against a modern duet. docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

And who could forget the sequels: Picnic with a Vengeance, Live Free or Picnic, and A Good Day to Picnic.

Armak for the Resistance ⚜️@armakproductions.com · 5d ago

1977: Picnic at a Smoky Bandit 1986: Picnic at a Gleaming Cube 1994: Pulping at a Hanging Fiction 2001: Picnic at a Hanging Chad 2010: The Picnic: Hanging Origins 2018: SpiderPicnic: Into the Hangiverse

Me when someone starts talking to me about religion

How it feels to put a "Dies irae" in a song you're writing

Anastasia: Rasputin's Dark Magic

Alt: Rasputin from the 1997 Fox animated film "Anastasia" flamboyantly casting an evil spell whilst singing his Jim Steinman-produced symphonic metal villain song "In the Dark of the Night"

static.klipy.com

When I look at how social media has turned introversion into a subculture that views leadership qualities like extroversion and assertiveness as toxic at worst and embarrassing at best I can't help but wonder if it isn't a psyop to keep the sensitive, the queer and the neurodivergent in their place.

Alternate universe where “Picnic at Hanging Rock” kicked off a whole new subgenre of films of which the premise was always “picnic at a __________”.

Armak for the Resistance ⚜️@armakproductions.com · 5d ago

Director: “It’s DIE HARD on a rock” Producer: “Does it have to be a rock?”

Since installing self-checkout registers made 90% of my job reading aloud written instructions clearly displayed on their touchscreens to inexplicably flummoxed customers, I've been feeling like Sigourney Weaver in Galaxy Quest.

Sigourney Weaver: It's Stupid, But I'm Gonna Do It

Alt: An animated GIF of Sigourney Weaver as Gwen DeMarco in the 1999 Star Trek parody film Galaxy Quest exclaiming "It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, okay?!" about her one job on the ship: repeating verbatim everything the computer says in a robotically anodyne voice

static.klipy.com

"What's a fire and why does it, what's the word, burn" is one of the greatest lyrics ever written. Not only does it double as a phenomenon a mermaid would have no context for and a metaphor for her desire but it manages to maintain linear tension despite the inclusion of a jokey parenthetical aside.

Josh Spiegel@mousterpiece.bsky.social · 5d ago

Today in the second round of the Ultimate Walt Disney Animation Studios Songs bracket, a quintessential “I Want” song faces a cricket and a little wooden boy. docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

Even Batman, who is often dismissed as a rich white man who beats up poor people, is about using one’s wealth and privilege to promote justice for all instead of just using it to amass more wealth and privilege.

GregXB@gregxb.bsky.social · 7d ago

ORIENTATION LEADER: No, it’s supposed to be *two* truths and a lie. SIR MIX-A-LOT: I just told you.

Fuck the sin, marry the sinner, kill God.

donni saphire@donni.bsky.social · 3w ago

Love the sinner AND the sin, honestly. That shit sounds pretty cool

Me before watching The Odyssey: What eus The Odyssey? Me while watching The Odyssey: Odysseus The Odyssey!

A group of people who refuse to get help is called a family

Villainous Harlequin Says He Used Artifact of Doom To Create His New Pro-Brotherhood Of Evil Incantation

Stereogum@stereogum.com · last wk.

Boy George says he created his new pro-Israel reggae song with AI

Once in a smalltown bookstore I saw a collection of biographies for children collectively titled "Great Lives" and one of them said on the cover "Great Lives: Anne Frank" and I remember thinking... ...isn't the fact that she didn't have a great life kind of the whole point?

Robyn Swirling@rswirling.bsky.social · last wk.

Just went for a mammogram, the changing rooms are all named (weird enough already) for various notable women. Oprah, Sonia Sotomayor, Amelia Earhart, Frida Kahlo, and…

No, but we'd expect a landscaper charged with property destruction to.

Julie S. Lalonde@julieslalonde.bsky.social · last wk.

"No one expects a landscaper charged with intimate partner violence to lose their job over it, the officer said." Yeah, because a landscaper isn't issued a lethal weapon and a uniform that denotes authority, you fucking clown. Cops who abuse should absolutely get harsh penalties.

I killed that deformed raccoon and turned him into a meat stick, I call it a Slimothy Jimothy.

Too many Liberals equate overtly judging someone on the basis of their bigotry or willing proximity to bigotry to said bigot overtly judging someone on the basis of their race or sexuality, and they'd rather let the victims of said bigotry suffer the consequences than risk looking like a hypocrite.

August J. Pollak@augustjpollak.bsky.social · last wk.

I’m genuinely wondering how many elections—in Michigan especially—the Democrats are going to have to lose until they’re willing to be adults and have an adult conversation about how unbelievably racist against Muslims the party is

Good thing they all managed to miraculously avoid a teacher ever wheeling a TV into the classroom and making them watch a movie they didn't want to watch or else they'd never watch any movies voluntarily either.

Sara Century@saracentury.bsky.social · 2w ago

I understand that it sucks to have to read a book you didn't choose as a kid but when people are like 40 and still going, "well assigned reading turned me off from reading" it's like, ok but you're 40. No one has assigned you a book in like 20 years.

When you get a divorce and your life makes sense again that's called postnup clarity.

“Ride or Die” on Amazon Prime only works with female protagonists. If a man found out his best friend was secretly a globetrotting assassin his reaction would not be “I can’t believe you lied to me and are a murderer” it would be “Holy shit that’s awesome!!! Can I come???”

sorry bud, daddy can’t play ball right now he’s getting in fights with strangers on the internet. yes, hehe, you’re right daddy is kinda like the batman of the internet

Must the unattainable remain so? Must the illusion of choice must, in the end, be chosen? As if in answer, the Road Runner speeds past him and into his house, embraces his wife, looks back at him and utters two taunting syllables, once unintelligible, now inescapable in their meaning: "Meep meep."

Hagai Palevsky (he/him)@dialhforhagai.bsky.social · 2w ago

Wile E. Coyote, despaired, takes a bucket of paint and a brush and paints a beautiful two-bedroom house on a mountainside. He paints a beautiful coyote wife in the window, and two adorable coyote kids running around in the yard. He tries to enter this new coyote life, but it is inaccessible to him

The trend of reimagining the Western canon as erotic soap operas for aging Twihards continues.

David Kuhne@davidkuhne.bsky.social · 2w ago

Will Sydney Sweeney turning one of the foundational texts of American literature into an erotic thriller get her the same enmity from Elon’s chud army as Nolan did for a couple of casting choices in The Odyssey? deadline.com/2026/07/sony...

Jazzercising towards Bethlehem to be born

Queuing up Thomas Newman's haunting and elegiac score to "Road to Perdition" when it's my turn with the aux.

Eric Alper @thatericalper.com · 2w ago

If you were making a road trip playlist, what's the best song with a road, highway or interstate in the title?