if you voted for Haley Stevens you should have to wear a giant Arby’s hat for the rest of your life as punishment
alber
@captainacabairbud.myatproto.social
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
subjecting myself to 25,000 double rubs by a wyzenbeek machine would fix me
that dog in me is scraping his shit ass across my insides i think he has worms
I think it's important that we take a moment to differentiate for the TL that Being a *little bitch= very good BUT Being a little *baby bitch= very bad
stop being a little fuckin bitch baby about everything or die , your choice in 3, 2, 1
there I was eating the spring roll, and that's when I realized- oh no, the mint, is it like lettuce? is this going to kill me? did I make it through everything to die of this delicious bite? so anyway I dipped it in the peanut sauce and took another bite
Emily Wilson gets one more piece on The Odyssey and then she needs to move on and let us know what she thinks about Mallrats
that dog in me sees and sniffs the asshole of that dog in you
i got that dog in me in the sense that i yawn repeatedly when im anxious
swerving across four lanes of traffic to get a photo of a car with the vanity plate “BOFA”
just wait until i tell them about how i am bluesky's 15th most prolific poster
I’m not religious but I do believe in signs from the universe
did i apologize? no. but was i the real victim?? also no. NEVERTHELESS, in any case
look we all fuck up and think we're cool to make a joke and it turns out we're not cool like that. it happens. you just have to be like "my bad" and not double down jfc
the trees are gross in the big city they all smell like sex, drugs, and rock and roll
one of the things I miss most about living with someone is asking them to bring me something from the other room
coming out of my cage and my back is completely fucked
coming out of my cage and my back is completely fucked