Derek Sheen
@dereksheen.bsky.social
Comedian, actor, writer, musician and pretty great in the kitchen. My new solo show "MotherL*ver" is coming soon to a town near you. Check out my albums on Apple Music and Spotify! You can find out all about me here: https://linktr.ee/dereksheen
No one’s calling it Lake America. “Lake America” is what you name a summer camp for soft children who say, “Don’t you know who my father is?” after a t-ball stand strikes them out
I offered Ted Cruz 10 million dollars to eat his own shit on livestream. Crickets from Ted Cruz. Why is he afraid of the truth
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2d agothese guys really hate women
One way you know Dolly Parton lived life the right way: I don’t think anyone’s going to get fired for accurately quoting Dolly Parton today.
both hot ones and the joe rogan podcast take place in the black lodge
Me hosting the next WHCD: “Hegseth’s here. Pete, it’s nice to see you left your closet to be here. I kid. Pete’s with his lovely wife. Weird, I’ve never seen you with a beard before? I kid, I kid. Oh, Pete looks mad. Pete, the angrier you get, the cuter you look.” (Sniper takes me out)
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 4d agoHegseth: "No more trannies, just training"
Hi! In case you didn’t know, my brand new special, UNRELATABLE, is now available on YouTube and free to check out! It’s real fun and a little dark and I hope you decide to take the ride!!
Look, are we the laughing stock of the world? Yes. Are we losing a war we should’ve never started? Yes. Is all our food poison now? Yes. Are all the jobs going away? Yes. But the important thing is a blue-haired college student I made up in my head feels bad about memes.
Oh, NOW I see why the economy is so bad. He thinks the gas is the breaks and the breaks is the gas.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · last wk.Trump: "When our country is strong, interest rates should go down. When our country is weak, frankly they should go up."
YAY!! It was so much talking with the great @jackiekashian.bsky.social about French cooking and food and our mutual love of schmaltz!! Go listen and subscribe!!
Jackie Kashian@jackiekashian.bsky.social · 2w agoTomorrow’s dork forest w @dereksheen.bsky.social is amazing and is about French cooking and he has a new special coming out friday!
Wow, he actually does a pretty good Fetterman.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w agoWELKER: Do democratic socialists belong in the Dem Party? JEFFRIES: What I can say is I do not support defunding the police, I do not support open borders, I do not support abolishing the Senate. We're focused on actually solving the problems hard-working American taxpayer want us to solve ...
This fuckin’ guy continues to not get it.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w agoWELKER: As Democratic leader in the House, would you vote for or against Medicare for All? JEFFRIES: It's not legislation that I currently am co-sponsoring or that I support, but I support the notion we've got to find a path forward to fix our broken healthcare system
Hi, I’m an entire box of Vivarin caffeine pills taken at once.
Suzy Jackson@suzyj.net · 2w agoIntroduce yourself as what almost killed you. Hi, I’m Steal a Car and Roll it Half a Dozen Times.
I'll be in the street in five minutes I'll tell you that
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 2w ago🚨🚨🚨 WAYNE ALLYN ROOT: You have the right to declare a national security emergency for elections. If you do this in the next month, we will get photo ID, proof of citizenship, and a limit to mail ballots TRUMP: Let me just say stranger things have happened. I'll leave it at that
🚨August 21st🚨 My brand new special, “Unrelatable”, premieres next Friday on YouTube!! Check out the trailer and hit subscribe to get notified when it drops. I am so proud of this highs and it looks so friggin’ good. I can’t wait for you to see it!
Derek Sheen - Unrelatable | Official Trailer
YouTube video by Blonde Medicine
youtu.be
I’m old enough to remember NYC banning Big Gulps and Fox News shitting itself (more so than usual)
Derek Sheen@dereksheen.bsky.social · 3w agoGOP: "SMALLER GOVERNMENT! NO GOVERNMENT INTRUSION!" Also GOP: "Government, please tell me what to eat."
GOP: "SMALLER GOVERNMENT! NO GOVERNMENT INTRUSION!" Also GOP: "Government, please tell me what to eat."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w agoof all the things that never happened, this is the thing that never happened the most
It always looks like one of his eyes is desperately trying to fuck off to anywhere but his soft ass skull.
Blake Smith@basmitharts.bsky.social · 3w agoFolks outside of Texas may think that people are cherry picking terrible photos of this guy. They aren't . Every photo of him just naturally looks like the mugshot from a DUI arrest.
Sen. Pat Geary: “I will vote for Mr Blanche. I will be criticized for this vote. What's new?"
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w agoCassidy: "I will vote for Mr Blanche. I will be criticized for this vote. What's new?"
This motherfucker is definitely wearing a wig.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com · 3w agoTrump: "I don't want to kill people. I do not want to kill people. But ... "
⚡️TOUR TIME⚡️ Tons of dates starting in September!! I’d love to see you!
Andy Iwancio@andyiwancio.bsky.social · 4w agobig old tour all over with @dereksheen.bsky.social this fall!
