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@datafruits.bsky.social

https://datafruits.fm

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piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · last wk.

this week on The Piper Block: howdy sailor uwu 💖 now go hop on dish ocean man, take me by the hand, take me to the land, where we're sitting at an hour wait on the lead and all i see is tickets at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more nautical nonsense below!)

There was a very, very brief period in my culinary career where I’d regularly daydream about signing onto a cruise line and slinging dishes on the open seas. There’s something about the idea of living on a boat that still appeals to me now and again; stepping out onto the railing at night and gazing into the vastness, feeling the gentle rocking of the waves as I drift off to sleep. Did the fact that I can’t swim for shit stand in the way here? That and the labor law violations, yeah. Probably one of the two. Maybe both. Anyways, speaking of bad ocean-related decisions that my gay ass somehow never made, let’s listen to wartime propaganda about joining the navy. I mean, shit, they probably pay better than half the chefs I’ve worked under, and it isn’t like the dishies can sell meth out the back if the back door leads to the fuckin’ Mariana Trench. (a .gif of the Village People singing "In The Navy", with a caption reading "yvan eht niaj", which is a simpsons reference to that one episode where bart is in a boy band that inadvertently makes subliminal propaganda messages for the US. Navy's recruitment office)
piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 2w ago

this week on The Piper Block: oopsie woopsie several police dogs are sniffing around in my backyard and i am currently wanted in multiple jurisdictions for doing Hot Girl Shit tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 2w ago

this week on The Piper Block: oopsie woopsie several police dogs are sniffing around in my backyard and i am currently wanted in multiple jurisdictions for doing Hot Girl Shit tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

a scene from the film adaptation of Arsenic And Old Lace, in which some poor sad sappy sucker is about to drink some arsenic laced beverage while two old ladies look on eagerly. the caption reads "mmmmm nummy nummy appel juice *fucking dies*"
piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 3w ago

this week on The Piper Block: ur man calls me queen bee (no, not that Queen B or that Queen Bey. the other one) confusion begets confusion and sticky things beget various innuendos tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 3w ago

this week on The Piper Block: ur man calls me queen bee (no, not that Queen B or that Queen Bey. the other one) confusion begets confusion and sticky things beget various innuendos tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

the cover art to Morgana King's "A Taste Of Honey", featuring a redheaded italian woman with a giant spoon of honey in her mouth. the caption reads "ah yes, 1971's "A Taste Of Honey". not to be confused with 1991's "With A Taste Of Honey" or 1964's "With A Taste Of Honey" or what I did to your man last night uwu"
piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 4w ago

this week on The Piper Block: making Planet Man at four o'clock in the morning local DJ loses control of her life tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 4w ago

this week on The Piper Block: making Planet Man at four o'clock in the morning local DJ loses control of her life tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more obscure references below!)

Will the Planet Man return to the Talkie Time again, you ask? I mean, probably, if you all keep going on about it. Ask nicely, please. No screaming. And stop throwing your spaceship toy at your sister. I will turn this car around and we will all go home. There will be NO MCDONALDS, damnit. Put your seatbelt back on. Mommy is trying to drive.a Homestuck-esque meme of that scene from Rugrats where Stu is up at 4 AM making chocolate pudding because the kids are Complaining. the caption reads "it's 4 AM and you lost control of your life. what on earth are you doing?". there is then a hyperlink stating "STU: Make chocolate -pudding"
piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · last mo.

tonight on The Piper Block: local cat overheats it is a hundred degrees here and my landlords never bothered installing central air so my brain is mush! we're re-playing last week's block tonight at 8 CST / 9 EST / 6 PST pull up a box fan and come see what you missed on @datafruits.bsky.social !

piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · last mo.

tonight on The Piper Block: checking in on Grampa Cop Mans in the home so we don't get written out of the will we explain to the orderlies that yes, he does in fact need all those medications tonight at 8 CST/9 EST/6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more bad jokes below!)

a film still of actor Everett Sloane, wearing a white button-up shirt and looking like a very confused grampa man. the caption reads "the look gramps gives you when you finally pop in at the nursing home"
piper bly@piperbomb.bsky.social · 2mo ago

tonight on The Piper Block: everything happens on Broadway, and it happens to you we walk into summer--but soft--tonight at 8 CST / 9 EST / 6 PST on @datafruits.bsky.social (full program / links / more bad jokes below!)