God dammit I just thought of the perfect thing to say to the woman who was rude to me on a plane in Chicago three weeks ago.
Daniel O'Brien
@danielobrien.bsky.social
Senior Writer- Last Week Tonight with John Oliver; Author- How to Fight Presidents; Co-Host- Quick Question with Soren and Daniel
The only creative industry that is inarguably both doing well and doing great work right now is "new baseball guy names."
Bobby Nightengale@nightengalejr.bsky.social · 5d agoJhomnardo Reyes is going to the Orioles for Dean Kremer, per source.
Cars should be able to hit other cars a little bit.
The vegetables we grow in our backyard garden-- tomatoes specifically-- are so FUCKING GOOD it's literally changed the way I see the world.
Matt Novak@paleofuture.bsky.social · 2w agoAnother odd moment occurred when Musk insisted that work in the future would be "optional" because robots would do everything. Musk said people might still work in the future but compared it to people who grow their own backyard tomatoes. He said they could just go to the store for better tomatoes.
Thoroughly charmed by the wholesomeness of this pointless reddit question.
I feel like we didn't appreciate just how funny it is to name yourself "Rob Zombie."
if you had asked lou gehrig what he thought symptoms of lou gehrig's disease would be i bet he would be like "being good at baseball" but unfortunately that's not how things shook out
American guy: “Hon hon hon.” Haha. “Oui, le baguette.” lol. Nah, nah. It’s all in good fun. French guy: Haha. “Ooh, I love to buy Funko Poppe and 326 dolleure gas at ‘obby Lobby.”
I'm not complaining about the Bluesky monoculture but it's always funny when something like this happens and my entire feed fills up with nothing but people saying "I told you so!!!" to other people who also told you so
I need everyone to stop and listen to potentially the funniest audio glitch I've ever heard. It sounds like Jigsaw decided to get a part time job announcing MLB games.
Biblical Guy: Ah, the Virgin Mary and the Christ Child, blessings. And you must be the Virgin Joseph. Joseph: Oh that-- I think that's just for-- Second Guy: VIRGIN JOE, WHAT'S GOOD JOE THE VIRGIN?!
I've been reading Swanboy for years and it's difficult to tell someone new where/how to "start," but this arc is as good as it gets.
Dreamboat Branny 🦢@bransonreese.bsky.social · 2mo agoThe Noel Goes to Hooters arc has officially ended. If you wanna read it from the sort of beginning, start here: swanboy.com/comic/40andme/
I hope my son's first words are something like "mama" or "hello" and not the thing he hears me say every morning when we tour the garden, "Hey squirrels eat shit get fucked die and go to hell." "Dada" would be nice too I guess.
On Sunday I googled "Who won the tony for best featured actor" and Google AI confidently answered even though a) Abbott did not win and b) the category had not been announced yet.
My ventriloquist dummy, Lowkey Ethnic Preston, is doing this thing where he whispers an incantation and transmogrifies into a flesh and blood strange small man and says, "Can I get real for a second?" and I laugh every time, but I do think that God is starting to get upset.
🚨REAL🚨Discovered something so incredibly dangerous to me personally, which is that every food item on the grocery store app has reviews
The Custom Oregon Plate DR_MILF is available for reservation. https://dmv2u.oregon.gov/eServices/?link=custom #Oregon #DR_MILF #CustomPlate #VanityPlate #OregonPlates #Oregon
Just figure out "A" game with the Liberty Biberty Guy and stick with it.
You shouldn’t make jokes on the internet it makes people mad
Remember when that Nobody was like "I've been put in charge of the search for the next Jeopardy host and-- Get this-- it's me!" and then he was immediately... Kicked off the planet? Killed? That was so, so funny.
what does Jaws the shark want. what specific goal is he trying to attain
Can't explain why but it's pretty jarring that this character's name is Frank.
