For a moment I thought the Pope was levitating two candlesticks

Reuters@reuters.com · 1h ago

Pope Leo to visit Uruguay, Argentina and Peru in November, Vatican says reut.rs/4wMGsCC

look, I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up but I think I may have discovered something incredible on worldcat

Look, the Tories have political capital to burn, and it's vitally important to the future of the party that they burn it standing up for the rights of Neo-Nazis.

The Moon, with its abundance of natural resources, proximity to major shipping ports, covering of fine dust that gets into everything, and where there is literally no legal way to own land, is in many ways the ideal spot for a hi-tech robot factory.

FinTwitter@fintwitter.bsky.social · 5h ago

$SPCX - SPACEX PLANS MOON FACTORIES POWERED BY HUMANOID ROBOTS

Just imagine the scenes at the glitzy ceremony, as the hosts - their faces pixelated out - open the envelope, and the heads of every intelligence agency in Europe are on the edges of their seats, waiting to find out if it was *their* spy who was the last one to tamper with it.

Civil Service World@civilserviceworld.bsky.social · 6h ago

British foreign intelligence agency ranked top in Europe in Ballon d'Or and Eurovision-inspired competition www.civilserviceworld.com/professions/...

Found my workout plan.

Shout out to the colleague who just inadvertently interrupted the global sales call with an unmuted mic, declaring “ I’m on the most violent of jack off calls; they’re all fucking jacking off about how great they all are” We have the AI notetaker as evidence…

Yes I acknowledge it makes sense in context but “I need my car to meet criminals” is now my favourite basis for an attempted exceptional hardship plea. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Facebook’s latest genre of videos it’s pushing to me are people assembling incredibly detailed model motorbikes. They look beautiful but are just AI slop, given away by twisted sub-frame mounts, screws fasten by inserting a screwdriver behind them, and that essential tool, the pliers-hammer.

They’re just waiting for the buyer to use a little pencil to put all the details on the order form.

Sainsbury's agrees to sell Argos for £120m

Under the terms of the deal, Argos will still operate in Sainsbury's shops, sell Habitat products, and offer Nectar points.

bbc.co.uk

Alexa informs me that it's Harry Potter's birthday today. Which means: Happy Birthday Joanne Rowling!

Downplay a book or movie: Fidget Club

Presuming Ed@presuming-ed.bsky.social · 5d ago

Downplay a book or a movie. City of god.

What? Why? No! What???

Just saw an earwig. Haven’t seen one of those for years. It declined to answer my questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to, so now I’m a bit suspicious.

We could give this small language a name to imply its simplicity. Something like "BASIC", maybe?

This is very exciting, and suggests that maybe AI token use could be reduced further by using a language with a very small vocabulary and a precise syntax. Maybe, soon, we could get rid of the unwieldy “Please display a short message conveying my greetings to the entire planet” Dare to dream!

It’s like dogging, but with more pricks.

Your food processor has a chute that fits your dick. Should you?

CBS News@cbsnews.com · 2w ago

ChatGPT now has a space for sharing medical records. Should you?

"All right, perhaps I should have filled in a piece of paper." -Al Capone

Peter Whitewood@pwhitewood.bsky.social · 2w ago

Just a ‘piece of paper’

Great news for fans of Scotch Holiday: The Thread (Feb, 2026) and Scotch Holiday II: Motorcycle Tour (May, 2026): Bluesky Cinema, in association with ExcelPope Productions and Crap Photography™ are proud to present… Scotch Holiday 3: The Family One <Dramatic music booms>

"Cry havoc, and let slip the gates of war!"

I got a job at a holiday camp for cobblers, but it was a last resort.

Speccy Twat@speccytwat.bsky.social · 2w ago

I got a job overseeing Quality Control at Dr Martens, but it was sole destroying.

I'm not going to QT the 18-month old post about what books people had to study at school, but I do want you all to know that I'm still furious, 40 years on, that my year had to read Jane Eyre while the year after us got to do The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole.

The only tech multi-billionaire should be the person who invented the plugs that send network signals through your home electrics. They work, they don't require any config, they don't open up security holes or try to sell you shit, and there's no way to put AI in them. They are the perfect tech.

You're all just mean! I, for one, am looking forward to the heart-warming Christmas story about how a man with an unhappy childhood learns to love money above all else and sets up a moderately successful business with one full-time employee!

I am being held in SHU, the highest level of security which exists. No commissary. No visits. No contact with the outside world. My neighbour is a cannibal who screams throughout the night.

Looked in on the other place, and this afternoon 10 people have liked a maths joke I made in a reply in September 2019, so fuck knows what's going on there.

Look, I know what people in market research get paid. The smart move is to offer £50k to the person posing the question, if they agree to just say you won the coin toss.

YouGov@yougov.co.uk · 2w ago

If you had a choice between instantly receiving £50,000 or a 50% chance to win £1m, which would you pick? £50,000: 73% 50/50 chance of winning £1m: 21% yougov.com/en-gb/daily-...

You can all calm down: we are not going to have data centres in space in my lifetime or yours. Stop swallowing and recycling the techbros' delusional PR, for God's sake.