Bob Wehadababyitsaboy
@followers4algernon.bsky.social
I’m haveing a accident
royal steward: sire, the bedeviling spirit which does visit upon thy manor messes most foul hath returned in the night jester dancing in the corner shaking a staff thick with bells: his royal belly full of meat, he slops upon the toilet seat! king (trying not to get mad:) he could speak of anyone
Country went to shit when they decided trains don’t need a caboose anymore.
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
The ant standing next to me… thats what the ants back home will never understand… thats it. Thats all it is…
Sometimes I pump my brakes on the highway just to know that 30 miles back some poor fuck is gonna hafta sit in 20 minutes of pointless traffic that will potentially completely fuck up his day. It’s called “making a difference”
Getting to fully experience the peak internet back when it was still fun is a weird thing. Nice we got to enjoy the moment but now it sucks ass and I gotta wonder if it mighta been better to have never got a taste of the good shit. Millennial quaaludes.
* SHITTING AT 100% PEAK EFFICIENCY * ᴰⁱᵃʳʳʰᵉᵃ
What most women don't know is that micro feel is actually the optimum shaft dimension to project power and authority.
I’m always mesmerized by those videos of that guy who makes the custom “rock n roll” top hats. Super impressive. It’s an absolutely incredible level of craftsmanship and attention to detail all to look like a complete dipshit.
I imagine this kinda thing happens to Michael Tracey all the time
wife: honey, can you read to the baby? husband: grok, do a vulgar roast of the baby grok: hello baby, your mind is not fully developed yet husband: no, more vulgar, use a gilbert gottfried voice
Starting a mafia but instead of shaking down people for money we shake them down…for respect.
Haka n roll McDonald’s Haka n roll McDonald’s Haka n roll McDonald’s Haka n roll McDonald’s Rock over Christchurch, rock on Tauranga Marmite, breakfast of champions
Favorite New York moment: a guy was parked on a hydrant in front of my building and he got booted and was freaking out on the parking cop and my neighbor started yelling out the window antagonizing the guy and I saw my neighbor a day later with a black eye cause the guy came back and punched him.
I once farted so bad in the mosh pit at a hardcore show that the band stopped playing and and started yelling to knock it off.
Hell Frasier: Bloodline@babadooknukem.bsky.social · last mo.Somebody ripped a fart so heinous at Cold Waves that a 500 person room smelled it all at once and now the whole merch line is talking about it
going to north sentinel island like that evangelist but instead of trying to bring them jesus I'm going to recite all my favorite cumtown bits.
I was masking in a lesbian bar, oh, oh I was masking in a lesbian bar, ooh, ooh, ooh
deleting a post with 900 likes just to feel something.
Rad milk died with a sword in his hands and most assuredly went to Valhalla
John Brown: I am worth inconceivably more to hang than for any other purpose. Caleb Hammer rubbing his eyes: It's lookin' that way. What is THIS? You financed swords? Brown: The crimes of this land will never be purged away but with blood. Hammer: May 9th. Got a broadsword. May 11th, broadsword.
How long do yall leave your Kirksmas trees up for?
The sriracha bottle if you don’t open it the exact second you take it outa the fridge.
Did you ever find Taylor Hawkins attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl Taylor Hawkins?